"...be of good cheer..." (John 16:33)

My mom, a woman of great strength and good cheer

As thoughts of my mom distill  upon my heart and mind, I hear her voice in my head call out, "Be of good cheer!" She would enthusiastically say it, frequently, as I was leaving her home. Rather than saying good-bye on her answering machine, she ended the message with, "Be of good cheer". Those were words of comfort she afforded me when I was seeking support and understanding. I believe it was her motto, and she truly lived it.

Those same words were spoken by Jesus Christ. He said it while talking to his disciples shortly before the agonies He would suffer in Gethsemane, before being betrayed by Judas, and before He would endure an unjust trial which would lead to His crucifixion and death. He said, "In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world" (John 16:33). I believe that Christ knew life ahead would be challenging for the twelve apostles as He used the phrase, "ye shall have tribulation".

In modern revelation He offers comfort to us through this same declaration. "And ye cannot bear all things now (again, Christ is letting us know we will have trials and life won't be easy); nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along." (D&C 78:18). I love the word, nevertheless. It means, " in spite of that" (nevertheless). Thus, in spite of the trials. In spite of the worry. In spite of betrayal. In spite of hardship or pain. In spite of the monotony of daily life, which can be its own curious type of pain..."be of good cheer".

Even though my mom got weaker and less independent,
she always chose to be of good cheer.

I have learned over the years that we never know what someone is suffering or going through at any given time. No one gets out of this life without trials, pain, sorrow, or loss. Life for my mom was not easy- she definitely had her fair share of tribulations.

Nevertheless, she was one of the most optimistic, cheerful, and positive persons I have ever known. She quietly lived the gospel, which spoke volumes of lessons for me. She did "submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15). She embodied the words of Pres. Thomas S. Monson in which he encourages us to "be of good cheer". He said, "This attitude is what will pull us through whatever comes our way. It will not remove our troubles from us but rather will enable us to face our challenges, to meet them head on, and to emerge victorious." He continues, "I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us." Pres. Monson ends with, "My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith" (Be of Good Cheer).

I testify of the power of being of good cheer. It is real- even life changing. I testify that God is with you. He hears and answers your prayers. We have nothing to fear. This I testify.

"...he trieth their patience and their faith." (Mosiah 23:21)

I need to just share a quick thought about this one verse- (please forgive me for my mistakes and/or misspellings, it is very late but needs to be done). "Nevertheless the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith" (Mosiah 23:21). The fact that the Lord deems it appropriate to try our faith and our patience at the same time says a lot about us and our development. When we exercise faith in Jesus Christ we are not only saying that we believe He knows what we need to learn and develop, but also the when. 

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "...patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because or our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can- working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude (courage in pain or adversity), even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!" (Continue in Patience).

I know we all have challenges that keep us from getting what we want in the timing we want. It's not easy being patient. So, I have had to ask myself what keeps me from being patient? When I take a step back I often find it is simply pride and selfishness. Pride because I think I know exactly what I "need" and that I believe it is good for me. And selfishness because I can't wait calmly and with dignity. Rather, I want to make everyone either aware of how miserable I am or make everyone as miserable as I am. That's pretty dang selfish.

Gratefully, God is aware of this "natural man" part of us (see Mosiah 3:19) and He helps us even when we are weak. He makes our burdens lighter, He makes them bearable. He says, "I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage". Why does He do this? He continues: "and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions" (Mosiah 24:14). When we are patient, He eases our burdens, which in turn increases our faith in Him. And then makes us able to "bear up [our] burdens with ease" (Mosiah 24:15), giving us more patience, and leading us again to increase our faith. In all of this cycle, He visits us and helps us carry our burdens (see Matt. 11:30)

I know that God has His reasons for trying our faith and our patience. I also know He gives us the strength to endure well- submitting "cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15; see also Mosiah 3:19). You can do this! This is I testify.

I get to "hangout" with my mom a couple of times a week as she is on hospice.

I am so grateful for her example of faith and patience. 

"Be patient in afflictions..." (D&C 31:9)

It has been a year now since I was diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (or CRPS). This has been a "tribulation" that has really tested me, and continues to do so. It is very painful, limits my activity, and there is no cure. It can go into remission (I continue to hope that it will), but after having a spinal stimulator implant and having only some relief (still, it is some), I am at a point where I must begin to acknowledge the possibility that this could be a permanent condition and this could be my life! I will be honest, I have gone through such a wide range of emotions and thoughts that I have not always been the best person to be around as I have had to endure this "affliction". (Bless my family! They are the ones who have to endure me).

And so, the other day in my scripture study, I was desperate for answers. I want this to GO AWAY! I want to be able to walk again, to wear shoes and socks and not just a pair of sandals (at least I can wear a sandal). I would love to be able to ride my trike again...but all of these may never happen...(I am not ready to give up hope, but it sure is hard some days). As I pondered what to do, how to have a good attitude for the day, my scriptures were open, and I looked at them. This phrase jumped out at me: "Be patient in afflictions..." (D&C 31:9). Right.

And so, I followed the footnote. Romans 12:12: "Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation..." Again, the word patient... combined with rejoicing?! The definition of patient is: "bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc. with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like" (patient). Holy cow! I have not been the best at being patient at all...my calmness is lacking, leaning more on the lines of anger. Definitely in need of patience.

As I have pondered this definition over and over, I realize that having CRPS is not about pain, but about patience. Patience is what I can choose to focus on as I endure this "affliction". Can I just say that this is not how I envisioned learning "great patience" as I have been counseled to do?

Another scripture that has come to my mind these past couple of days: "...yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15). Being cheerful, well, I am working on that one, as I am learning that it really is a part of being patient in affliction. The only way I can imagine being cheerful as I endure is to "trust in the Lord" (see Proverbs 3:5-8). Trust Him that He will strengthen me that I can bear up this burden with ease. Trust Him that He really does want what is best for me and that everything will "work together" for my good (see D&C 98:3; D&C 100:15).

"For all things are for your sakes...but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen, for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal" (2 Cor. 4:15-18). 

In my "light affliction, which is but a moment" (and some moments feel like an eternity) I am learning yet again, it is not what I can or cannot do physically that matters. For that is the thing that is seen. What really matters is being able to follow the example of our Savior, by being patient, by enduring all things. He calls, "Come, follow me" (Luke 18:22).

I won't pretend that this is easy, it is not. And I won't pretend that I don't wish, at times, that I could just...be done- but I am not. I have yet to learn how to be patient...the thing which is not seen, which is eternal.

This is a pretty good foot day...lots of sitting, just a little swelling, but the pain (grrr).
I really am learning patience...I'm just a slow learner.

"The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9)

I am so grateful I find peace when I am so angry I could rip someone's head off...okay, not literally, by reading the scriptures. We have a child that has a mild form of autism. We just recently learned this and it has been a blessing to receive this knowledge. The scriptures helped me to have the strength and understanding that we will be able to help our son regardless of how blind others choose to remain. I know that anger isn't a way to solve a problem. It isn't the way to relieve frustration, even though it may seem to be a quick fix. Anger usually just causes more pain (and I was pretty angry at how close minded/blind people can be). I am so grateful for the example of prophets and apostles, living and from the scriptures, because they testify of Christ and teach me how to handle challenges and affliction, or perhaps just deal with my anger and therefore "...the grace of God" may be and [and is able to] abide in [me]" (see Ether 12:41).

I had never really noticed all these years that I have read The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that Nephi, a prophet, starts by not only saying he was raised by "goodly parents", but that he had "seen many afflictions in the course of his days" (1 Nephi 1:1). Even prophets are not exempt from trials and afflictions. The last verse of that same chapter explains how Nephi sees and learns from his afflictions. He says, "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). Nephi doesn't say that the problems went away, but that he  focuses on the "tender mercies of the Lord". Tender mercies come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes making us "mighty even unto the power of deliverance"; other times, giving us the power to endure and to make our burdens lighter, so much so  that the Lord will "strengthen [us] that [we can] bear up [our] burdens with ease, and [we will] submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15).

Sometimes the tender mercies lead us to deliverance by giving us the strength to endure, not necessarily taking the problem away. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "The Atonement ...gives us the strength to endure 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,' because our Savior also took upon Him 'the pains and the sicknesses of his people' (Alma 7:11). Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden" (He Heals the Heavy Laden). Over the years I have prayed for understanding, wisdom, knowledge, guidance, help, and much more as a parent. Being able to help a child who needs some extra attention, but not knowing what we were dealing with has led to a lot of frustration and anger. As times, I thought I would have to just give up, but that isn't a good solution, nor is it an option. In the end, I have always been given the strength to endure. As parents, we need strength to endure all things because, truly, "we believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things" (Article of Faith 13). The only way to be able to endure parenting with joy, or any trial for that matter, is to rely upon the Savior.

As a mother with a child who has autism, unbeknownst to me, but I knew that something wasn't "right" with my child, I have struggled and struggled for years to "help" him. It hasn't been easy. People expect him, and I expected him, to act like my other children in various situations, and he didn't behave/respond the same, no matter how many times we asked, threatened, helped, encouraged, taught, loved, him to do differently. The tender mercies of the Lord have been with us the whole time as we have tried to guide our son. He is an incredible child of God. He is loving and kind, brilliant, and filled with joy and enthusiasm for life. The wonderful mercy that has been given us wasn't having our son changed to "normal" (whatever normal is), but having us change, and continue to be changed. We are more patient (and get to learn more patience as we help others learn to help our son), more understanding of other people and the challenges they are faced with, more forgiving. I'm not a perfect parent/person, and I continue to learn every day and pray as the Psalmst, "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions" (Psalms 51:1), because boy do I make a lot of mistakes trying to help my children. And God does hear and answers my prayers. He loves His children- "The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9). I am so grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ. Without it, I don't know where I would be. I realized one day that I do my best as a parent and then I have to leave the rest up to Him (see 2 Nephi 25:23). That is grace in full action! What a tender mercy to give to all His children- grace.

There are times in our lives when we are like Nephi and are asked to "return to Jerusalem" (1 Nephi 3:2) even when we already left everything behind (see 1 Nephi 2:4), or so we thought. Sometimes, we have to "return" because we have more to learn, things so precious that it effects our future and the future of our children (see 1 Nephi 3:19-20). Life is guaranteed to have affliction. We are told, "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" (D&C 24:8). We can be as Nephi who responded with "I will go and do" because, just as he had faith to go, we too will "know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7). The way is prepared...Jesus showed us the way, because He is "the way" (John 14:6). We can do it, even on the days that are really hard, and those days we are really angry. "His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9) ~this includes you and me. This I testify.

I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." (1 Nephi 11:17)

Some days just don't go as planned. I have an agenda all laid out and it doesn't go at all like I planned. Sometimes I am able to go with it and be just fine, and others, for whatever reason...I can't. On those days that I can't seem to let it go, at the end of the day I realize that it did me no good to fret over it all, but things work out, or will work out, I don't know how, and maybe not when or how I think they will, but they will work out. Most often, it isn't the big stuff that causes me the most stress, but it is the little things that seem to needle their way into the agenda I had all laid out. What is up with that, I ask?

And then today, this thought came into my mind: "...lean not unto thine own understanding." I had to think about that one, seriously. All too often I want to be the one to know where I am going, I like to read the road map when we are in a new city, I like to know where I am and where I am headed. I don't mind having an adventure, but for some reason, I like to know how I am getting there. So, when I was walking today and this thought came to me, and I couldn't think of the scripture reference off the top of my head I knew that I needed to let things go. I knew that there was a lot that I don't understand, A LOT. I needed to go home and look this one up.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; 

and lean not unto thine own understanding." 

(Proverbs 3:5)

Trust in Him with all my heart, not just some of it, but all of it. The Lord has "not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Tim.1:7). When things don't go the way we think they should, even when they are righteous desires, it doesn't mean we aren't headed in the right direction. Sometimes, our agenda needs to be tweaked, and that's okay. That's not a bad thing. God does give us the spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind...not a frenzied mind, a mind that is all over the place trying to make sure we have all of our bases covered or that our agenda is totally in place. The key is to make sure our agenda is God's agenda. And sometimes, what was once the correct agenda, like having a certain number of children, which is a righteous desire and in line with God's idea's, but perhaps, has become my agenda, God's agenda has now changed for me. (That happened to me.) It's hard to discern when those changes take place. But it sometimes happens and it takes faith to continue forward amidst those changes.

One of my favorite scriptures is in 1 Nephi 11, it says: "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things"(vs. 17). I don't have the answers to all the problems in the world or even pretend to begin to understand them. Everyone suffers...big and small. The depths of sorrow is great. But God totally understands our sorrows, our worries, our stresses, our messed up plans. How? Because "God loved us and He sent His Son! (1 John 4:10) How we choose to respond to our suffering or messed up plans, is up to us. Will we trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not unto our own understanding? 

On those days or weeks or months or years that don't go as planned, "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved" (Psalms 55:22). "[He] will strengthen thee; yea, [He] will help thee; uphold thee with the right hand of [His] righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10). He will make our burdens lighter so that we can bear them (see Mosiah 24:15) because He loves us and wants us to succeed. "For He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5).

I wish I could express this in more explicit words, more poetic words, but there are only the simple and pure words that are true...our Savior Jesus Christ, and our Heavenly Father love us. I don't know the meaning of all things, but this I do know, This I Testify, God loves us, He loves His children! And you are His child.

Feel His Love, it surrounds you.