"To others it is given to believe on their words" ( D&C 46:14)

Drafting is a wonderful way to ride a bike. It saves energy, shares the burden of riding long distances, enables one to be social and talk with other riders. It is a great way to travel long distances. Every rider has an opportunity to be the leader. But, if you are learning to draft or need to save your strength, you can usually hang out in the middle of the pack and rely on the strength of those in front of you. Now that I ride a trike, I can no longer draft off other riders. On long distant rides I must rely upon my own strength and be okay with being by myself at times. This image of drafting keeps coming to mind as I ponder the responsibility I have as a parent to teach my children the gospel and how to live it.

Watching riders draft in the middle of the pack- Tour of Utah

As a leader in our home I have the responsibility to teach our children truth and where and how to find it (see D&C 68:25). As our children learn for themselves they are welcome to "draft" off my strength and testimony of what I know to be true. At times, we all "draft" off of one another when perhaps our faith and knowledge aren't as strong as we hoped or would like them to be. To believe on the words of others is a spiritual gift. In the Doctrine and Covenants we read: "To others it is given to believe on their words, that they also might have eternal life if they continue faithful" ( D&C 46:14). It is not weakness when we need to rely on the testimony or strength of others, rather we are given a gift to believe on the words of others when we seek help from the Lord. It is a great blessing to be able to lead and guide as others "draft" and we become stronger ourselves. We have a responsibility to share our testimonies and what we know so that those who have this gift to believe with be strengthened. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said it this way: "Where it is given to some to know and to others to believe on their words, those who know must be responsible for sharing their testimonies. Only in this way can they give those who have the gift of believing on their words something to lean upon as they, too, move toward eternal life" (Spiritual Gifts).

As I ponder this drafting, especially now that I ride a trike and wish I could still draft, I realize there is another principle of the gospel that we need to apply at some point in our lives. That is when we become the leader, we become the grown up and need to be responsible for our own choices, actions, direction, and path we choose. When this happens, we can no longer "draft" or blame or point fingers when things go wrong. When I am out there on a really long ride, all alone, I cannot blame my parents for my lack of preparation, or lack or nutrition or water. It is time for me to "perform [my] labors", a time to "prove all things; [and] hold fast to that which is good" (Alma 34:32; 1 Thessalonians 5:21).

Notice the leader at the head of the draft pack

When we become the leader, we get the opportunity to practice what we have been preparing. We are told: "If ye are prepared ye shall not fear" (D&C 38:30). When I have sufficiently prepared for a long ride I find that I have enough strength to endure to the end. I find that I rely upon the Lord when I am alone on these long rides. He is the One I can draft off, always. When I find that I am alone, not only on trike rides, but any time in life, I can seek for that gift "to believe on their words", and I am strengthened by the words of Christ. I have learned to trust in the Lord.

I love this scripture: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6). This is the way a solo rider can draft, by relying upon the Lord. He will direct our path when we follow His lead (see D&C 78:18). Sometimes, no matter how much I have prepared, I am taken by surprise by weather, hill climbs, flat tires, or other unforeseen events. But I endure because I trust in the Lord. I know that all who "seek this Jesus" will also be able to "perform their labors" (Ether 12:41; Alma 34:32) no matter if they are in the middle, the leader, or a solo rider. This I testify.

Riding solo on a century ride, both of us unable to draft of each other and must rely on our own preparation.

"...to be spiritually minded is life eternal" (2 Nephi 9:39)

As I drove my son to school the other morning I must have cut a man off or something because when we stopped at the light the man just glared at me and did not smile. He appeared to be extremely angry, or at least that is what his look told me. I looked back at him and smiled a big smile, like this (I was in these clothes, and wearing my sunglasses, took this photo shortly after for full effect): 

My smile then melted into a genuine smile: 

The man then relaxed and actually smiled back. My son commented to me that the man must have been pretty angry. He asked me what I had done to tick him off. I said I didn't know, and I hadn't done it on purpose. It's not like I try and go around making people angry; that doesn't feel good. If anything, I prefer peace and definitely a smile back.

As I drove home I pondered the smile and what a difference it made. In 2 Nephi 9:39 it states: "Remember, to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually minded is life eternal". Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal- there is your S.M.I.L.E. When we focus on "the things that matter most" (Pres. Dieter F. Uchtdorf), the things that can be felt with the heart, then we are being spiritually minded. This may mean that "we have to forego some good things in order to choose others that are better or best because they develop faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and strengthen our families"(Elder Dallin H. Oaks). Spiritually minded things develop our faith and strengthen our families. Letting go of anger, forgiving, being patient, just to name a few things, can be felt with the heart and help develop faith and strengthen our families.

The Romans were reminded the importance of being spiritually minded, "For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is peace" (Romans 8:6). There is peace in our busy lives when we "seek this Jesus of whom the apostles and prophets have written" (Ether 12:41) in all we do and say. It can be a challenge to do this in a world filled with tight schedules, stress, and so many choices of how to spend our time, let alone our money. As we look back over our lives, the things that last the longest are the memories we create, our relationships we have with others, and our testimony of Jesus Christ, "The Prince of Peace" (Isaiah 9:6; 2 Nephi 19:6). Pres Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught: "Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world" (Of Things That Matter Most) and thus we will S.M.I.L.E.


Enjoy a short video: "Moments That Matter Most"

"The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9)

I am so grateful I find peace when I am so angry I could rip someone's head off...okay, not literally, by reading the scriptures. We have a child that has a mild form of autism. We just recently learned this and it has been a blessing to receive this knowledge. The scriptures helped me to have the strength and understanding that we will be able to help our son regardless of how blind others choose to remain. I know that anger isn't a way to solve a problem. It isn't the way to relieve frustration, even though it may seem to be a quick fix. Anger usually just causes more pain (and I was pretty angry at how close minded/blind people can be). I am so grateful for the example of prophets and apostles, living and from the scriptures, because they testify of Christ and teach me how to handle challenges and affliction, or perhaps just deal with my anger and therefore "...the grace of God" may be and [and is able to] abide in [me]" (see Ether 12:41).

I had never really noticed all these years that I have read The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that Nephi, a prophet, starts by not only saying he was raised by "goodly parents", but that he had "seen many afflictions in the course of his days" (1 Nephi 1:1). Even prophets are not exempt from trials and afflictions. The last verse of that same chapter explains how Nephi sees and learns from his afflictions. He says, "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). Nephi doesn't say that the problems went away, but that he  focuses on the "tender mercies of the Lord". Tender mercies come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes making us "mighty even unto the power of deliverance"; other times, giving us the power to endure and to make our burdens lighter, so much so  that the Lord will "strengthen [us] that [we can] bear up [our] burdens with ease, and [we will] submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15).

Sometimes the tender mercies lead us to deliverance by giving us the strength to endure, not necessarily taking the problem away. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "The Atonement ...gives us the strength to endure 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,' because our Savior also took upon Him 'the pains and the sicknesses of his people' (Alma 7:11). Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden" (He Heals the Heavy Laden). Over the years I have prayed for understanding, wisdom, knowledge, guidance, help, and much more as a parent. Being able to help a child who needs some extra attention, but not knowing what we were dealing with has led to a lot of frustration and anger. As times, I thought I would have to just give up, but that isn't a good solution, nor is it an option. In the end, I have always been given the strength to endure. As parents, we need strength to endure all things because, truly, "we believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things" (Article of Faith 13). The only way to be able to endure parenting with joy, or any trial for that matter, is to rely upon the Savior.

As a mother with a child who has autism, unbeknownst to me, but I knew that something wasn't "right" with my child, I have struggled and struggled for years to "help" him. It hasn't been easy. People expect him, and I expected him, to act like my other children in various situations, and he didn't behave/respond the same, no matter how many times we asked, threatened, helped, encouraged, taught, loved, him to do differently. The tender mercies of the Lord have been with us the whole time as we have tried to guide our son. He is an incredible child of God. He is loving and kind, brilliant, and filled with joy and enthusiasm for life. The wonderful mercy that has been given us wasn't having our son changed to "normal" (whatever normal is), but having us change, and continue to be changed. We are more patient (and get to learn more patience as we help others learn to help our son), more understanding of other people and the challenges they are faced with, more forgiving. I'm not a perfect parent/person, and I continue to learn every day and pray as the Psalmst, "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions" (Psalms 51:1), because boy do I make a lot of mistakes trying to help my children. And God does hear and answers my prayers. He loves His children- "The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9). I am so grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ. Without it, I don't know where I would be. I realized one day that I do my best as a parent and then I have to leave the rest up to Him (see 2 Nephi 25:23). That is grace in full action! What a tender mercy to give to all His children- grace.

There are times in our lives when we are like Nephi and are asked to "return to Jerusalem" (1 Nephi 3:2) even when we already left everything behind (see 1 Nephi 2:4), or so we thought. Sometimes, we have to "return" because we have more to learn, things so precious that it effects our future and the future of our children (see 1 Nephi 3:19-20). Life is guaranteed to have affliction. We are told, "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" (D&C 24:8). We can be as Nephi who responded with "I will go and do" because, just as he had faith to go, we too will "know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7). The way is prepared...Jesus showed us the way, because He is "the way" (John 14:6). We can do it, even on the days that are really hard, and those days we are really angry. "His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9) ~this includes you and me. This I testify.

"And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith". (D&C 88:118)

This morning I got to see something quite unusual. It was a lunar eclipse. The moon was full and the sky was clear. My husband and I had just gone out to start our walk when our neighbor pointed it out it out to us. We would have missed it if he hadn't said something. Sometimes we can learn things on our own, other times we have people teach us, and we learn from them. There is great wisdom in being able to learn from others as well as from "the best books" and from the Spirit (see D&C 88:118).

I wonder if this is a little like the star of Bethlehem. The wise men from the east knew what they were looking for and were able to see the star when so many people didn't see it (see Magi in Bible Dictionary). They were wise as to the things of God, and were prepared for the coming of Jesus Christ. The definition of wise is "having the ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; sagacious" (The Free Dictionary) and not just knowledgeable, which means, "possessing or showing knowledge or intelligence; perceptive and well-informed" (The Free Dictionary). I believe it is very important to learn about things and have great knowledge. But it is more important to be able to discern what is true and right out of all we learn, "for it is necessary that [we] should learn wisdom" (Alma 32:12).

I want to be wise, so I ask, how can we be wise? I have come to find that there is a lot in the scriptures about wisdom and being wise. But for the moment I will focus on just a couple of items. The first begins with accepting instruction, or learning. The scriptures teach: "Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser" (Proverbs 9:9). Being willing to learn from others, take instruction from someone who is less "learned", takes humility and is important in the process of being wise. It has been said of men, "When they are learned they think they are wise, and they hearken not unto the counsel of God, for they set it aside, supposing they know of themselves, wherefore, their wisdom is foolishness and it profiteth them not. And they shall perish. But to be learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God" (2 Nephi 9:28-29).  Humility is key in being wise. God will open "the gate" to us when we "come down in the depths of humility" (2 Nephi 9:41-42). We can learn every time we open our ears to hear (see Isaiah 50:5). The Lord wants to bless us and teach us through those who have prepared talks and lessons. It is our responsibility to learn from those who have been called to do so. Sometimes I have found that I have a hard time learning from people I know because I think know their weaknesses. It has taken great humility to set aside my pride and be willing to learn from those whom I have been "hurt" or "offended" by when they are speaking in sacrament meeting. I am the "fool" when I think I know more than God, because He chooses who will be the "instruments in [His hands] in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth, yea, to the knowledge of [our] Redeemer" (Mosiah 27:36). We will become wise as we put our head in its proper position of humility, recognizing that "He imparteth his word by angels unto men, yea, not only men but women also. Now this is not all; little children do have words given unto then many times, which confound the wise and the learned" (Alma 32:23). We can learn wisdom from those whom God has asked to speak in church, we just need "ears to hear" (Mark 4:23).

The Savior used a simple story, four verses in fact, about being wise. It is so important that He also told it to the Nephites in America when He appeared to them as well. The story is this: "Therefore, whoso heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, who built his house upon a rock- And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not, for it was founded upon a rock. And every one that heareth these sayings of mine and doeth them not shall be likened unto a foolish man, who built his house upon the sand- And the rain descended , and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell, and great was the fall of it" (3 Nephi 14:24-27; Matthew 7:24-27). We must build upon the "rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God" (Helaman 5:12). We have been told "this that [we] may learn wisdom, that [we] may learn...that there is no other way or means (no any other place, thing, item, power, idea, nothing) whereby man can be saved, only in and through Christ" (Alma 38:9, italics added).

In order to be saved by Christ, we must know Christ. And to know Christ takes faith, study, learning, and wisdom. "And as all have not faith, seek ye diligently and teach one another words of wisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118). We can learn and "seek this Jesus whom the prophets and apostles have written" (Ether 12:41) and "learn of [Him] (D&C 19:23) as we read the words of the prophets and apostles that are written in the scriptures and spoken to us by our prophet and apostles today (those words can be read here). We do this by keeping His commandments because we love Him (see John 14:15), "seek not for riches but for wisdom" (D&C 6:7), "seek not to counsel the Lord, but to take counsel from His hand. For... [we] know that He counseleth in wisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all His works" (Jacob 4:10). He loves us so much!!! He will never counsel us in the wrong, it is us who choose to do wrong.

He loves us so much that He allows us to develop our own ability to think, to ponder, to develop wisdom- which is to "discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting". As Paul said: "Finally, brethren (and sisters), whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think of these things" (Philippians 4:8, italics added). Pondering and thinking is a major part of wisdom. It allows the Spirit to teach us and to guide us and discern between truth and error, and between right and wrong, therefore having true wisdom. When we are "still" (Psalms 46:10), we will be guided in "wisdom's path" (Mosiah 2:36) and "by the power of the Holy Ghost [we] may know the truth of all things" (Moroni 10:5). This is how we become wise men and women as we "seek this Jesus" (Ether 12:41). This I testify.