"Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things..." Alma 32:21

Today, I am pondering faith a bit. "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; ...if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true" (Alma 32:21). Some things are true that I cannot see with my physical eyes. I can't see the wind, but there is evidence of the wind. I see the evidence of the wind as it blows  leaves off of trees and at times, gently caresses my skin and ruffles my hair.

As I have pondered things that are true, but I can't see, I have also thought about learning. I have to ask myself, am I willing to learn all that God wants me to learn, even when I can't see the end from the beginning? What about from all sources? Am I willing to learn His ways through enduring all things? Am I willing to "...seek learning, even by study and also by faith" (D&C 88:118).

This leads me to ponder about being humble and teachable. I ask, how humble am I, really? "...for I verily believe that there are some among you who would humble themselves, let them be in whatsoever circumstances they might [be in]" (Alma 32:25). And there are some who, no matter what their circumstances, no matter their suffering, they want a sign, saying: "If thou wilt show unto us a sign from heaven, then we shall know of a surety; then we shall believe" (Alma 32:18). But, receiving a "sign" requires no faith. On the other hand, "ye shall receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6). In other words, faith proceeds the miracle. I continue to work on this.

Some days can be so difficult that thoughts of quitting tease and taunt me. But I don't quit. And I don't give up. I keep believing and having faith in a loving God (see 1 John 4:16; Ephesians 2:4), who is "merciful unto all who believe on His name" (Alma 32:22). I believe and have faith that there is something more to this life than enduring pain or seeing others suffer (see Luke 12:23). In those times of pain and suffering that don't make sense it is through faith that I can say as Nephi: "I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). I know in the long run, things always work out...perhaps not as I thought they would, but they always work out.

Am I humble enough to trust God, to have faith in His plan? Especially when things aren't going according to my plan. God's plan is one of happiness (see Alma 42:8). It is one of great joy! His plan is one of choice, we get to choose and receive what our hearts truly desire (see 2 Nephi 2:27-30). Perhaps some do not desire to be like God, "pure even as He is pure". And that is what some people choose. "Remember that [we] are free to act for [ourselves] -to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life" (2 Nephi 2:23). We can choose to put our faith in Jesus Christ, our Creator and our Savior. We can choose to have faith that He knows exactly what we need to learn, and what we need to endure so that we be prepared for that "great and coming day" (3 Nephi 28:31).

"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Having faith, for me, is to put my trust in the God that I see in His creations all around me. To trust Him enough to never quit, never give up, no matter how hard or how painful it may be. This I testify.

I see God in all the amazing creations I get to enjoy on a daily basis

His love is even shown in the details of every flower. Look at those peppers! What beauty and creativity!

I see Him in all He creates for my joy and comfort.

"Charity, the pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47)

I think the scripture I need to share today might be something I need to hear myself. I know that we all suffer and have challenges that really try our faith (see 3 Nephi 26:11). Challenges don't always make sense. Which leads me to the scripture:

Beautiful- just because we are loved

"I know that [God] loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17).

As you endure the challenges of life, I invite you to seek for the love God has for you. It is always there. I have felt it and I want everyone in the world to feel His love. This love is "charity, the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever" (Moroni 7:47). As you seek for God's love, He will fill you up with it. This love is more powerful than anything I have ever felt. It is life and heart changing. Charity is "the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men have for one another. [It is] the highest, noblest, strongest kind of love, not merely affection" (Charity).

The prophet Joseph Smith said, "A man filled with the love of God, is not content with blessing his family alone, but ranges through the whole world, anxious to bless the whole human race" (Bishop Keith B. McMullin). When we feel and then are filled with the love of God, it enables us to keep trying, keep serving, keep hoping, and in so doing, we want others to feel this amazing love. So, we then go forth and help others, lift others, and this love continues to grow within us and for us. God's love for us is truly awesome.

Even though I don't understand "why" or "how come" of everything, I say to you (and myself), God loves you more than words can express. This I testify.

"[God] maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matt. 5:45)

We had a power outage this past weekend that lasted for about 6-7 hours. It had started to bring back memories of the year we had no power for 3 days. You need to know something about me. I get a little edgy when I am cold. A little edgy when I am tired. A touch off when I am hungry. A touch out of sorts when I have an infection. If you throw all of those together...well, let me just say, in the nicest way possible, that all heck breaks loose and it is better to not be around me when they all come together. My family knows that they need to stay out of my way. So, this past weekend, when it was getting closer to the 5 hour mark with no power and it was getting dark outside and the temperatures were dropping, I was really trying to hold it together...I hope the Lord sees fit to take me when "The Big One" comes, I am not much of a "pioneer" without my modern conveniences, such as food, heat, light, medicine, a warm bed, did I mention food?

Sometimes, things just go wrong and for no apparent reason. The power goes out on the best of us, and we are cold, hungry, tired, and we have an infection all at the same time. Things could definitely be worse (I have experienced way worse and I try to accept what I am given and be grateful...note the try, it doesn't mean that I am happy about it, or that it is easy). One of the conclusions that I have come to when bad things happen to good people (which happens all the time), is that "[God] maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matt. 5:45). Power outages, unfortunately, don't skip homes that are paying tithing, or even paying their electrical bills. They happen to whomever happens to be on that grid. Power outages happen to the best of us. They make life inconvenient, change our routine, test our patience, make us slow down, sometimes they make us questions why things have to happen to us, sometimes they may even make us question our faith. These are not necessarily bad things.

Another conclusion I have come to about bad things happening to good people is that unbeknownst  to us, these trials, or power outages, can actually be strength building opportunities for us. The Lord has said, "I will try the faith of my people" (3 Nephi 26:11) and taught through His prophets "...ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith" (Ether 12:6). Sometimes, as I am riding my bike up a long, steep hill I have to look down rather than up. This is the proper placement for my head. The hill looks flatter, I am able to focus on each stroke as I pedal, and I slowly, oh so slowly, make my way to the top. It is with my head down, humbled in prayer that is in the proper position that makes all the difference, when I need help in my deepest, and darkest hours of my "power outages". Elder Henry B. Eyring said, "Trouble itself can be your way to strengthen and finally gain unshakable faith" (Mountains to Climb).



Life isn't always filled with lights and without its storms. I sometimes wish it were. But then I look back at all the growth that has come form all that hard work, diligence, and perseverance of pedaling up those long, steep hills and you know what? I wouldn't change a thing. I to add my voice with the prophet Nephi and say, "I know that [Christ] loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). Things work out, if not in this life, then in the next. We are loved beyond measure and we are not left alone in the dark. This I testify.

The day after the storm...and after the power outage. The sun always comes out after the  storm.

Note how the branch is hanging down from the weight of the snow, this is several hours after the storm has ended.

The mountains from our home. I am standing in our driveway. We received at least a foot or more of snow, and the mountains received 48" or more!

I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things." (1 Nephi 11:17)

Some days just don't go as planned. I have an agenda all laid out and it doesn't go at all like I planned. Sometimes I am able to go with it and be just fine, and others, for whatever reason...I can't. On those days that I can't seem to let it go, at the end of the day I realize that it did me no good to fret over it all, but things work out, or will work out, I don't know how, and maybe not when or how I think they will, but they will work out. Most often, it isn't the big stuff that causes me the most stress, but it is the little things that seem to needle their way into the agenda I had all laid out. What is up with that, I ask?

And then today, this thought came into my mind: "...lean not unto thine own understanding." I had to think about that one, seriously. All too often I want to be the one to know where I am going, I like to read the road map when we are in a new city, I like to know where I am and where I am headed. I don't mind having an adventure, but for some reason, I like to know how I am getting there. So, when I was walking today and this thought came to me, and I couldn't think of the scripture reference off the top of my head I knew that I needed to let things go. I knew that there was a lot that I don't understand, A LOT. I needed to go home and look this one up.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; 

and lean not unto thine own understanding." 

(Proverbs 3:5)

Trust in Him with all my heart, not just some of it, but all of it. The Lord has "not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind" (2 Tim.1:7). When things don't go the way we think they should, even when they are righteous desires, it doesn't mean we aren't headed in the right direction. Sometimes, our agenda needs to be tweaked, and that's okay. That's not a bad thing. God does give us the spirit of love and of power and of a sound mind...not a frenzied mind, a mind that is all over the place trying to make sure we have all of our bases covered or that our agenda is totally in place. The key is to make sure our agenda is God's agenda. And sometimes, what was once the correct agenda, like having a certain number of children, which is a righteous desire and in line with God's idea's, but perhaps, has become my agenda, God's agenda has now changed for me. (That happened to me.) It's hard to discern when those changes take place. But it sometimes happens and it takes faith to continue forward amidst those changes.

One of my favorite scriptures is in 1 Nephi 11, it says: "I know that [God] loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things"(vs. 17). I don't have the answers to all the problems in the world or even pretend to begin to understand them. Everyone suffers...big and small. The depths of sorrow is great. But God totally understands our sorrows, our worries, our stresses, our messed up plans. How? Because "God loved us and He sent His Son! (1 John 4:10) How we choose to respond to our suffering or messed up plans, is up to us. Will we trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not unto our own understanding? 

On those days or weeks or months or years that don't go as planned, "Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved" (Psalms 55:22). "[He] will strengthen thee; yea, [He] will help thee; uphold thee with the right hand of [His] righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10). He will make our burdens lighter so that we can bear them (see Mosiah 24:15) because He loves us and wants us to succeed. "For He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee" (Hebrews 13:5).

I wish I could express this in more explicit words, more poetic words, but there are only the simple and pure words that are true...our Savior Jesus Christ, and our Heavenly Father love us. I don't know the meaning of all things, but this I do know, This I Testify, God loves us, He loves His children! And you are His child.

Feel His Love, it surrounds you.