"...live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which He doth bestow upon you" (Alma 34:38)

I have had a whole new view to "live in thanksgiving daily" (Alma 34:38). If I read that scripture in context, the actual sentence is, "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which He doth bestow upon you" (Alma 34:38). I used to believe that it just meant to say thank you for the big things; because mercy is a really big thing. But I am finding that it is actually a way of life and it is a way of finding joy in all things. Yes, I said all things.

Since I have been diagnosed with CRPS (learn more here) and I am still hoping for a miracle, I have had to change my way of doing things and more importantly, my way of living. I am not always able to enjoy all the activities I used to (which is a lot of stuff) and so living in thanksgiving daily has saved me by helping me see the Light that is in all things (see D&C 88:6-13). Yes, I still have the moments of "what the heck!" But, seeing the Light in everything has helped me not say that quite as frequently.

As I have tried to "give thanks in all things" I have started noticing the small stuff, or the "many mercies" in my everyday life. "Tender mercies" (see 1 Nephi 1:20) do not need to be big miracles or life changing experiences, but are the simple gifts of life that are given to each of us. I am learning that as I give thanks in everything (see D&C 98:1), I am truly finding joy. I am not longer finding myself comparing my life with other people's lives, but I am able to be happy for their successes and feel genuine sorrow for any suffering, pain, burden, or trial they may have. My understanding of the commandment: "In everything give thanks" (1 Thes. 5:18) has brought more joy, peace, love, and comfort in my life than I ever thought possible.

These are just a few of the things that have truly delivered me from being burdened to finding joy in each moment as I express thanks for these tender mercies:

• my eyes to see the faces of my children and my wonderful husband
• my feet so that I can walk from the couch to the table, or up or down the stair
• being able to have the use of a crutch to help me walk when I am in great pain
• my ears to hear the laughter and voices of my loved ones
• the many foods that have so much flavor for my mouth and taste buds to enjoy
• for beautiful music that can calm my spirit and music that I can sing my guts out to or even make up my own lyrics
• for Monday's because I get to read my missionary son's emails 
• for movies on those days that I need to be totally distracted and can't focus on anything else
• funny voices that make me laugh (whether or not they are my own funny voices is only disclosed in private)
• color that is so beautiful it touches my soul and brings me almost to tears, such as the color of the flowers in my backyard, or the humming birds deep emerald breast
• pain which gives me to opportunity to slow down and ponder the power of the Atonement and the love God has for each of us. He truly loves us!

  

  one of my crutches

   

These seemingly everyday things have taught me to see that God is not just trying to teach me to be grateful, but He is showing me a new life. He is actually delivering me from an old way of living to His way of living. I am truly discovering the meaning of the doctrine: "Men are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25), even in the midst of pain.

One of the beautiful sunsets viewed from my backyard

Yummy Chicken Friend Steak that I truly enjoyed

The most amazing Flourless Chocolate Cake that me friend made

The African Violets I've had for several
years that continue to bloom 

My son Stockton, with his mission companion standing
 in the background, serving in the Buenos Aires South Mission

Here is a short video that expresses living in thanksgiving daily very simply and beautifully. Enjoy!

"...They taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good" (Moses 6:55)

The other morning as I walked in the cold weather, my heart was very heavy. I was having a difficult time focusing on anything positive and was feeling a bit sorry for myself after an incident that had taken place with family the night before. I wanted to quit thinking about it and focus on something else. I really wanted to run away from the problem, but that would do no good and be very selfish. So, as I walked, I looked around at the stark contrast between the white of the snow and the dark branches of the trees. I thought of how the trees go dormant during the winter and that eventually spring always comes after what seems like such a cold and deathly winter; buds appear and bloom into flowers, leaves poke their heads out and grow. Most definitely, "there is an opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11).

I started to make a mental list of all the things that I was grateful for, of oppositions as I walked. This helped me focus on something else other than the heavy heart that I didn't want to keep carrying in the bitter, cold morning. I have to be honest, the "bitterness" came from my foul mood, and the "sweetness" was an effort to change my attitiude. There is not a particular order to this list of oppositions, but each, both the bitter and the sweet, has brought a blessing into my life. I hope you will come up with your own list of oppositions. If we "should never have bitter [or opposition we] could not know the sweet" (D&C 29:39). As the Lord said to Adam, "...they taste the bitter, that they may know to prize the good" (Moses 6:55).  Truly, opposition blesses our lives with bitterness so that we may recognize the sweetness of the Lord and His "tender mercies" (1 Nephi 1:20). Without bitterness, we would not recognize what is sweet. Some of these may not make any sense to you, but this is my list of oppositions...and they need only make sense to me. I share them because I have grown from them, and have tasted the bitter and the sweet, and the sweet is "the most sweet, above all that I ever tasted" (1 Nephi 8:11).

My Short Blessing list of Oppositions 

• being hungry and thirsty in opposition to having enough food and water to eat and drink; not only physically but spiritually as well (see Matt 5:6)
• being bitterly cold in opposition to being warm, especially when I return home to the "warm hearts" of loved ones (see D&C 121:9)
• having a sick child in opposition to having a child become well or my children healthy all the time (see D&C 42:48)
• icy roads that I fall on and have to pick my self back up in opposition to roads that have been cleared and are easy to follow so that I don't stumble and fall (see 2 Nephi 4:32)
• being tired and exhausted in opposition to being awake and alert (see 1 Cor. 15:34)
• feeling alone and abandoned in opposition to feeling totally loved and surrounded by loved ones (see D&C 6:20-21)
• being in excruciating pain in opposition to having no more pain or free from pain (see Alma 36:19; Revelations 21:4; Mosiah 27:29) 
• tears of sorrow in opposition to tears of joy (see Psalms 126:5)
• darkness and night in opposition to sunshine and daylight (see Moroni 7:15) 
• making enemies in opposition to making and having friends (see Matt 5:44; 3 Nephi 12:44)
• barren, no growth in opposition to planting trees, pruning shrubs and  bushes and watching the beauty of these grow (see Alma 33:23)
• impatience, fretting, and worrying in opposition to waiting patiently, being calm, filled with faith (Psalms 37:5-11)

As I pondered these oppositions, and looked around me at the cold of winter that covered the earth, I realized that all these things testify of Christ. They all call us to Him, "He that ascended up on high, as also He descended below all things, in that He comprehended all things, that He might be in all and through all things, the light of truth; which truth shineth. This is the light of Christ" (D&C 88: 6-7). As we go through opposition, which gratefully we do, even though it is difficult and hard and sometimes we desperately don't want to, we can look to Him, the One who knows how to succor us according to our infirmities (see Alma 7:12) and heal our all our wounds and our souls and thus, we may know "to prize the good".

"...The tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith..." ( 1 Nephi 1:20)

Sometimes as a parent, or even as a human being, I feel like I am walking around in the wilderness. I know I am suppose to be a parent to the children I have, but there are times that it is so challenging and so frustrating and I really feel I have no idea what I am doing. There are also times when all I seem to do is murmur, murmur, murmur, or maybe I am just hitting my head against a brick wall, so to speak. That's not so good. So how can I handle it better? Don't know if I really handle it better, but at least I can feel like I am not wandering. Here are my thoughts.

Nephi talks about being in the wilderness (see 1 Nephi 17:1-2). Laman and Lemuel also talk about being in the wilderness (1 Nephi 17:20) and boy are their attitudes extremely different about the exact same experiences. I know that sometimes I murmur as I feel like I have "wandered in the wilderness these many years" (1 Nephi 17:20) of parenting and living...but in reality, I haven't been wandering. "I was [and continue to be] led by the Spirit, not knowing before hand the things which I should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). There is an element of faith in parenting and in living, even becoming a parent takes faith, especially in these days of not knowing before hand what to expect with all that is going to happen. Faith is in incredible power and we get to teach faith to our children and as we do so, we are lifted and strengthened. Elder Russel M. Nelson said, "Let [your children] feel your faith, even when sore trials come upon you. Let your faith be focused on our loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Teach that faith with deep conviction. Teach each precious boy or girl that he or she is a child of God, created in His image, with a sacred purpose and potential. Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed" (Face the Future with Faith).

Trials or afflictions come in all shapes and sizes. Nephi, a prophet, said this about afflictions, "...[I have] seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless,  [I have] been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea,  [I have] had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God" (1 Nephi 1:1 italics added). Note the "nevertheless". He didn't focus on the afflictions. He had them, but, he saw them as blessings, not just as trials. He also said, "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). The tender mercies are over all of us when we seek the Lord. He is standing by to guide us and lead us through our "wilderness". We don't need to just wander about aimlessly wondering if we are doing any good or stay in pain or continue to do the same things and expect different results. When  there is a "mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2) we will have a remarkable change take place. This change comes as we let our faith grow, and deepen in our Savior who is "mighty to save" (Isaiah 63:1, 2 Nephi 31:19, Alma 34:18).

Nephi's trials weren't trials of pain to him, but they became blessings. He recognized "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith" ( 1 Nephi 1:20). The Lord's tender mercies are over all, not just parents. But all His children who choose to exercise faith in Him. Christ wants, in fact, He is waiting to bless us. He says, "Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you" (Moroni 7:26). And about our trials and afflictions He says, "...All things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good" (D&C 98:3). He's not going to let our challenges go to waste, but we might...we might if we turn away from God and murmur and complain and whine and become bitter.

But we don't need to become bitter. The joy is real. The joy is that there really is a Savior. We don't have to wander in the "wilderness" for nothing. "Have faith, have hope, live like His Son, help others on their way" (He Sent His Son, #34). The wilderness is but a testing ground for us to learn to listen to His voice, to recognize when He is calling to us (see D&C 88:66). He is calling us, "Come, follow me" (Luke 18:22) because He is the Light in the wilderness. He will lead us along. We need not fear or stay stuck where we are, or even keep murmuring, because those trials really are blessings in disguise. This I testify.

"Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (D&C 88:6)

Friends are invaluable. They are a source of strength in times of need, joy, pain, sorrow, renewing, aging, birth, death, and just life. Friendships change and they grow. A true friend is one that forgives and loves even when we aren't perfect. I have found friends that will never fail me, they are full of wisdom, and I can turn to them any time. I love the advice I receive from these friends because it is never wrong if I follow the advice I receive from them. I am never manipulated or coerced, but always loved into action. It is a great relationship. If we don't have any contact for a while, we immediately reunite and I am so glad we do and I always think, "Why did I wait so long to visit these friends", because it is always my choice if we don't keep in touch.

These friends are the scriptures or often called the standard works- The Old and New Testaments, the Book of Mormon, the Doctrine and Covenants, and The Pearl of Great Price (you can access them all here). I love spending time with these friends. They are so filled with love, knowledge and wisdom, and truth. They are spiritual and will help us draw closer to God if we follow what they tell us to do (see The Book of Mormon: Introduction). We can all choose to be friends with the scriptures. "They can become stalwart friends that are not limited by geography or calendar. They are always available when needed. Their use provides a foundation of truth that can be awakened by the Holy Ghost. Learning, pondering, searching, and memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet with friends, values, and truths that can be called upon anytime, anywhere in the world" (Elder Richard G. Scott). In this world, we all need friends that will lead us and help us draw closer to Christ.

I would like to share a couple of my "best friends" (for this is what they have become to me) with you and take just a few brief moments and explain why they have become so treasured to me.

One of my dearest friends is found in 1 Nephi. It is when Nephi is given the vision his father had of the tree of life. Nephi is asked by the angel if he knows the "condescension of God" (1 Nephi 11:16). Nephi replies: "I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17). Nephi admits he doesn't understand all of God's ways or reasons. What he does know is that God loves His children. This has given me great strength and comfort many times and continues to do so. I don't understand everything that everyone goes through, but I know we are loved and God has a reason for everything. Sometimes our trials can become our greatest blessing. If we ponder the atonement, it was the greatest trial for the Savior of us all, and is the greatest blessing and gift for all of us (see D&C 19:16-19).

I have mentioned and talked about this friend before. It has blessed my life many times. It is simple and straight forward. "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not" (D&C 6:36). As children of God, we must move forward in this life, which is a temporary separation from our Father in Heaven, with faith. Because of the veil of forgetfulness it is too easy to not remember who we really are and sometimes wander around fearing what may or may not happen. My dad has frequently given me great advice. He says you shouldn't worry about what you can't control. When we look to our Father in Heaven we can quit worrying about all the "stuff" we can't control, like our children's behavior, or if our children are going to get in a car accident, or if we are going to lose our job, or if we may or may not get sick, or whatever life may bring us....Instead, we must "...look to God and live" (Alma 37:47)! ~ That is another great friend.

Great friends help us live! God wants us to LIVE! "Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy" (2 Nephi 2:25). To truly live and have joy is to "live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which he doth bestow upon you" (Alma 34:38). This is joy~ recognizing that the Lord is aware of us, and loves us and blesses us with all we have. When we "always remember Him" (D&C 20:77,79) we are seeing God in our lives and living in thanksgiving daily for the "tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he that chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20 italics added). We are so loved!!!

These are some of my best and dearest friends. They have lifted, carried, guided, taught, and loved me through life. These friends, the scriptures, are from a loving, all powerful, all knowing God, who loves us and wants us to have joy. Read them. Study them. Get to know them and you will have a relationship not only with the scriptures, but with the Lord. The promise is, "Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you" (D&C 88:63, see also Psalms 69:18; Zech. 1:3-4, Ezra 8:22-23). We can all use more friends and there are many good ones to be had. The Savior Himself said, "Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks" (D&C 98:1). There is no better friend than the Savior. This I testify.

"The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9)

I am so grateful I find peace when I am so angry I could rip someone's head off...okay, not literally, by reading the scriptures. We have a child that has a mild form of autism. We just recently learned this and it has been a blessing to receive this knowledge. The scriptures helped me to have the strength and understanding that we will be able to help our son regardless of how blind others choose to remain. I know that anger isn't a way to solve a problem. It isn't the way to relieve frustration, even though it may seem to be a quick fix. Anger usually just causes more pain (and I was pretty angry at how close minded/blind people can be). I am so grateful for the example of prophets and apostles, living and from the scriptures, because they testify of Christ and teach me how to handle challenges and affliction, or perhaps just deal with my anger and therefore "...the grace of God" may be and [and is able to] abide in [me]" (see Ether 12:41).

I had never really noticed all these years that I have read The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ that Nephi, a prophet, starts by not only saying he was raised by "goodly parents", but that he had "seen many afflictions in the course of his days" (1 Nephi 1:1). Even prophets are not exempt from trials and afflictions. The last verse of that same chapter explains how Nephi sees and learns from his afflictions. He says, "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). Nephi doesn't say that the problems went away, but that he  focuses on the "tender mercies of the Lord". Tender mercies come in all shapes and sizes, sometimes making us "mighty even unto the power of deliverance"; other times, giving us the power to endure and to make our burdens lighter, so much so  that the Lord will "strengthen [us] that [we can] bear up [our] burdens with ease, and [we will] submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15).

Sometimes the tender mercies lead us to deliverance by giving us the strength to endure, not necessarily taking the problem away. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "The Atonement ...gives us the strength to endure 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,' because our Savior also took upon Him 'the pains and the sicknesses of his people' (Alma 7:11). Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden" (He Heals the Heavy Laden). Over the years I have prayed for understanding, wisdom, knowledge, guidance, help, and much more as a parent. Being able to help a child who needs some extra attention, but not knowing what we were dealing with has led to a lot of frustration and anger. As times, I thought I would have to just give up, but that isn't a good solution, nor is it an option. In the end, I have always been given the strength to endure. As parents, we need strength to endure all things because, truly, "we believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things" (Article of Faith 13). The only way to be able to endure parenting with joy, or any trial for that matter, is to rely upon the Savior.

As a mother with a child who has autism, unbeknownst to me, but I knew that something wasn't "right" with my child, I have struggled and struggled for years to "help" him. It hasn't been easy. People expect him, and I expected him, to act like my other children in various situations, and he didn't behave/respond the same, no matter how many times we asked, threatened, helped, encouraged, taught, loved, him to do differently. The tender mercies of the Lord have been with us the whole time as we have tried to guide our son. He is an incredible child of God. He is loving and kind, brilliant, and filled with joy and enthusiasm for life. The wonderful mercy that has been given us wasn't having our son changed to "normal" (whatever normal is), but having us change, and continue to be changed. We are more patient (and get to learn more patience as we help others learn to help our son), more understanding of other people and the challenges they are faced with, more forgiving. I'm not a perfect parent/person, and I continue to learn every day and pray as the Psalmst, "Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy loving kindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions" (Psalms 51:1), because boy do I make a lot of mistakes trying to help my children. And God does hear and answers my prayers. He loves His children- "The Lord is good to all: and His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9). I am so grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ. Without it, I don't know where I would be. I realized one day that I do my best as a parent and then I have to leave the rest up to Him (see 2 Nephi 25:23). That is grace in full action! What a tender mercy to give to all His children- grace.

There are times in our lives when we are like Nephi and are asked to "return to Jerusalem" (1 Nephi 3:2) even when we already left everything behind (see 1 Nephi 2:4), or so we thought. Sometimes, we have to "return" because we have more to learn, things so precious that it effects our future and the future of our children (see 1 Nephi 3:19-20). Life is guaranteed to have affliction. We are told, "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" (D&C 24:8). We can be as Nephi who responded with "I will go and do" because, just as he had faith to go, we too will "know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them" (1 Nephi 3:7). The way is prepared...Jesus showed us the way, because He is "the way" (John 14:6). We can do it, even on the days that are really hard, and those days we are really angry. "His tender mercies are over all His works" (Psalms 145:9) ~this includes you and me. This I testify.

"...It is according to faith that miracles are wrought..." (Moroni 7:37)

There are a lot of things that people fear: fear of heights, fear of death, fear of the dark, just to name a few. When I was little I would have a reoccurring dream of the world being on fire and my family could fly and I couldn't. It was a terrible nightmare that I would have a lot. I feared having it. Fear is an interesting thing that effects our body. It is a natural response that takes place when we feel threatened or when we are put in a stressful situation. Fear isn't all bad. It helps to protect us from danger and helps that natural response kick in to run when we need to get out of somewhere. Fear can protect us from danger, but fear is a reaction to things that are around us or sometimes in us, such as our thoughts and not true protection. We need to learn how to control our fear and rely upon something more powerful and stronger than fear for protection. Something so powerful when developed and used properly it can move mountains ( see Ether 12:30), if needed we could have children when told it isn't possible (see Hebrews 11:11) , and or even be translated (see Hebrews 11:5). The power of faith is more powerful than fear.

But in our world where the impossible is made to seem possible, like in the movies when the not so great guy is able to don stretchy pants, a cape, and get some super powers (miraculously) and fly around the world, or skip around the city and save every one by beating them up, all the while he can drink all the alcohol he wants and sleep with all the women he wants. And he has all the money he could want by breaking every commandment including, but not limited to: lying, cheating, getting even, stealing. This isn't power at all. This is fake. This is what we should fear, but we look at it as entertainment and think nothing of it as our children watch, believing (or perhaps wishing) that life should be handed to them on a platter with no consequences...kind of hard to swallow even as I type this.

Real power comes from faith in Jesus Christ and must be based "upon correct knowledge or it cannot produce the desired results. Faith in Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel and is more than belief, since true faith always moves its possessor to some kind of physical and mental action; it carries an assurance of the fulfillment of the things hoped for. A lack of faith (or fear) leads one to despair, which comes because of iniquity (sin or unrighteousness)" (Bible Dictionary). This is real power! If we want to have the kind of power that will change our life, we must go to the real source of All Power. And this is Jesus Christ.

Okay, if faith is more powerful than fear, why is it that we seem to fall back on fear so much? We have "fears" that creep into our lives or things happen and we react out of fear. But, we don't have to react out of fear. It is getting to the point that we don't react out of fear, but act in faith that the Lord wants to bring us to. It is a process of growing and learning. He says: "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not" (D&C 6:36). Having the Savior be a part of every thought...that is really what He wants for us. He wants us to be one with Him (John 17:21). That is why He comfortingly tells us, "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness" (Isaiah 41:10). That's powerful stuff. If we want this power, then we need to believe in Him, and we need to start somewhere, we must have "faith to believe" and He will start working in our lives and miracles will take place (see Alma 37:40).

In today's world we are always wanting miracles to happen. And "it is according to faith that miracles are wrought" (Moroni 7:37). Miracles cease "if there be no faith among the children of God" (Ether 12:12). There are miracles of healing, protection, and powers greater than man. But the "greater miracle is a mighty change of heart by a son or daughter of God (see Mosiah 5:2). A change of heart, including new attitudes, priorities, and desires, is greater and more important than any miracle involving the body." (Elder Dallin H. Oaks). The miracle of a changed heart, a person whose "heart is changed through faith on [Christ]; therefore, [they] have been "born of  him"(Mosiah 5:7) is a miracle that effects eternity. Faith in Christ is more powerful than fear. This miracle, a changed heart and being born of Christ, can take place every day as "tender mercies...because of [our] faith, to make [us] mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). 

Christ is with us as we exercise our faith in Him and we have nothing to fear. He says: "Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world." (D&C 50:41). We get to choose faith over fear. This I testify has the power to work miracles in our lives. This will change eternity.

 "Choose faith over doubt, 

choose faith over fear, 

choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, 

and choose faith over pessimism."

~Elder Richard C. Edgley