"And upon these I write the things of my soul..." (2 Nephi 4:15)

This being my 200th post I keep thinking about why I write this blog and how I feel about sharing it. "I write the things of my soul" (2 Nephi 4:15) and don't want to be mocked. I have to admit that I have pangs of anxiety every time I go to press the "publish" button. I totally relate to Moroni when he pleads with the Lord about his writing, "[People] will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing; for Lord thou hast made us mighty in word by faith, but thou hast not made us mighty in writing...when we write we behold our weakness, and stumble because of the placing of our words; and I fear lest the [people] shall mock at our words" (Ether 12:23, 25). I feel exactly the same way- that people will only see my misspelled words, sloppy sentences, or my multiple mistakes. But my desire to share the things that I know to be true with my loved ones, and all of God's children is stronger than the anxiety I feel. So I write.

It gives me courage to write when I read the Lord's reply to Moroni. He says, "Fools mock, but they shall mourn; and my grace is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness" (Ether 12:26). So, if people make fun of what I write, or even choose not to read it due to my clumsiness, I write anyway.

I so love the scriptures! And so I write about them. I find joy, comfort, peace, and guidance in them, for they are the words of Christ (see 2 Nephi 33:10; Colossians 3:16; 2 Nephi 32:3). I have been through some really hard things (everyone goes through hard things) and it is the scriptures (you can read and even watch Bible videos here) that have helped me and given me direction and hope in those hard times. I have learned for myself the truth of these words: "Feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do" (2 Nephi 32:3). The scriptures have shown me all things that I need to do. The challenge is to "go and do" (1 Nephi 3:7) for I am not perfect in the application but I keep trying. I write in hopes "...that your joy may be full" (1 John 1:4) as you "go and do" also.

I write for my children and loved ones. This is one of my favorite scriptures. It is the words of Nephi and for me, it says very clearly another reason I write: "And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies (prophecies being testimony- see Revelations 19:10), that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26). I want my children to know that it is through the grace of Jesus Christ that all sin, pain, every affliction, temptations, and death- all of it, is made whole in Him and He will succor us in, through, and during all of it (see Alma 7:11-13) as we turn to Him. And so I write.

I don't believe everyone needs to keep a public journal or blog their thoughts. But we each can write blessings by our daily actions. Elder Carlos E. Asay said, "We do, in fact, write our own blessings by the way we live and serve" (Write Your Own Blessing). I write many of the things I know to be true here. But hopefully, the most powerful writing I will do is my daily living of these truths. I am not perfect at it, but I keep practicing (I'm a practicing Christian after all). "And upon these I write the things of my soul, and many of the scriptures... For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children" (2 Nephi 4:15). And this is why I write.

I write that my children may know...

Yes- that these awesome children may know! They are why I write the things of my soul

Now go and write your own blessings. (You're always welcome to share them with me!) Know you are loved!!!

"...The tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith..." ( 1 Nephi 1:20)

Sometimes as a parent, or even as a human being, I feel like I am walking around in the wilderness. I know I am suppose to be a parent to the children I have, but there are times that it is so challenging and so frustrating and I really feel I have no idea what I am doing. There are also times when all I seem to do is murmur, murmur, murmur, or maybe I am just hitting my head against a brick wall, so to speak. That's not so good. So how can I handle it better? Don't know if I really handle it better, but at least I can feel like I am not wandering. Here are my thoughts.

Nephi talks about being in the wilderness (see 1 Nephi 17:1-2). Laman and Lemuel also talk about being in the wilderness (1 Nephi 17:20) and boy are their attitudes extremely different about the exact same experiences. I know that sometimes I murmur as I feel like I have "wandered in the wilderness these many years" (1 Nephi 17:20) of parenting and living...but in reality, I haven't been wandering. "I was [and continue to be] led by the Spirit, not knowing before hand the things which I should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). There is an element of faith in parenting and in living, even becoming a parent takes faith, especially in these days of not knowing before hand what to expect with all that is going to happen. Faith is in incredible power and we get to teach faith to our children and as we do so, we are lifted and strengthened. Elder Russel M. Nelson said, "Let [your children] feel your faith, even when sore trials come upon you. Let your faith be focused on our loving Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Teach that faith with deep conviction. Teach each precious boy or girl that he or she is a child of God, created in His image, with a sacred purpose and potential. Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed" (Face the Future with Faith).

Trials or afflictions come in all shapes and sizes. Nephi, a prophet, said this about afflictions, "...[I have] seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless,  [I have] been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea,  [I have] had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God" (1 Nephi 1:1 italics added). Note the "nevertheless". He didn't focus on the afflictions. He had them, but, he saw them as blessings, not just as trials. He also said, "I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance" (1 Nephi 1:20). The tender mercies are over all of us when we seek the Lord. He is standing by to guide us and lead us through our "wilderness". We don't need to just wander about aimlessly wondering if we are doing any good or stay in pain or continue to do the same things and expect different results. When  there is a "mighty change in us, or in our hearts, that we have no more disposition to do evil, but to do good continually" (Mosiah 5:2) we will have a remarkable change take place. This change comes as we let our faith grow, and deepen in our Savior who is "mighty to save" (Isaiah 63:1, 2 Nephi 31:19, Alma 34:18).

Nephi's trials weren't trials of pain to him, but they became blessings. He recognized "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom He hath chosen, because of their faith" ( 1 Nephi 1:20). The Lord's tender mercies are over all, not just parents. But all His children who choose to exercise faith in Him. Christ wants, in fact, He is waiting to bless us. He says, "Whatsoever thing ye shall ask the Father in my name, which is good, in faith believing that ye shall receive, behold, it shall be done unto you" (Moroni 7:26). And about our trials and afflictions He says, "...All things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good" (D&C 98:3). He's not going to let our challenges go to waste, but we might...we might if we turn away from God and murmur and complain and whine and become bitter.

But we don't need to become bitter. The joy is real. The joy is that there really is a Savior. We don't have to wander in the "wilderness" for nothing. "Have faith, have hope, live like His Son, help others on their way" (He Sent His Son, #34). The wilderness is but a testing ground for us to learn to listen to His voice, to recognize when He is calling to us (see D&C 88:66). He is calling us, "Come, follow me" (Luke 18:22) because He is the Light in the wilderness. He will lead us along. We need not fear or stay stuck where we are, or even keep murmuring, because those trials really are blessings in disguise. This I testify.