"...of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:10)

I have titled this "The Parable of the Chair" - (Taken from experiences I learned injuring my shoulder-twice.)

There was a woman who had a chair that she used a lot. She really liked this chair. It had been in their family for 20 years. It looked like an old school chair, had paint marks on it from when her kids painted pictures when they were little, and had earned a place that was frequented often by the woman. This chair was in her closet. It was good to her. She would sit on it to get dressed and put her shoes on. Sometimes it would be dragged from room to room to aid her in other needs. Often the woman would pour out her soul in prayer in the closet and the chair was a great source of support.

Well, one day she needed to stand on it to hide Christmas presents. She did. It was the perfect height. She hid the presents and then proceeded to turn and step off the chair. Well, she didn’t just step off, she fell off the chair. The chair had betrayed her! As she fell off the chair she landed on her shoulder. She screamed in pain. The chair did nothing. It didn’t come to her aid. It just sat there.

At first, the woman thought her should would get better by not using her arm. She was pretty ticked at the chair for betraying her trust like that. How could it let her down? She felt justified when she called it names, even refusing to sit on it to tie her shoes. Nothing the chair did (which was very little) helped her in any way to get over this hurt, this pain, this betrayal! The woman thought maybe it would help her feel better if she put it in the basement, never to be used again or even more serious, maybe she would get rid of the chair never to be allowed into her home again. She would most definitely be justified in that! But none of this helped her shoulder to heal. It had been over a month now, and the pain was still there, getting even worse. Being angry, hurt, and resentful was not helping her shoulder heal.

After a period of months the woman realized that perhaps she needed to try something different to get better. She had found no comfort and no peace in being offended by the chair. Perhaps she should see the Great Physician, who was also the Great Judge. It has been said that He “went about healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people” (Matt 4:23). Also, “he judgeth, and his judgement is just” (Mosiah 3:18). Feeling desperate, she finally went to see the Great Physician and Judge. He told her that her injury was indeed great. It would even need surgery to repair it. The Great Physician and Judge said there would probably be even more pain and tribulation to come, but if she would  “harden not [her] heart, and stiffen not [her] neck against [Him], [she] shall be [changed] and [He] would heal [her] (see D&C 112:13). She was told she needed to “view herself in her own carnal, or merely human state” and  must “apply” treatment daily (see Mosiah 4:2).

He prescribed what sounded easy, but was often difficult to take regularly. It was "to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the [Great Physician]; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the [Great Physician], will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (D&C 64:9-10). He also gave her exercises to take with the prescription that would also aid in her healing and would help her become to whole again. This remedy He gave her was not easy, sometimes downright painful, but in the end totally worth it. She did exactly what the Great Physician and Judge told her to do. She practiced being obedient to His instructions. The pain subsided and eventually left. She felt so much better. She could move her arm again. She was indeed healed.

In remembering, she realizes that there is great hope for the future. If an injury occurs again, of any kind, rather than wasting time trying to place blame, she would immediately go and see the Great Physician and Judge.

"The Chair"

"I did frankly forgive them all that they had done" (1 Nephi 7:21)

Have I told you of the time when we got our van, it was a week old, I was in the parking lot of a store and a woman I knew waved at me? What happened was she proceeded to let go of her cart, it rolled down the parking lot and it hit our new van! I had a nice, round ding above the wheel well. I was so bugged, but I didn't say anything. Since then I have had two other experiences that have helped me learn from this experience. (And yes, I still see the woman regularly).

First one: middle of winter, one of the worst snow storms we had and Jeff and I are out of town. Our daughter calls us that afternoon and tells us she had hit a car in the school parking lot but had left a note on the windshield. Later that evening I got a phone call from the owner of the car. We apologized profusely, and the owner said, "Actually, I am so impressed that your child would leave a note! Thank you for teaching your child to be honest. Please don't worry about the damage to the car. Just pay it forward. Again, thanks for teaching honesty". He had totally forgiven the damage and our child and even complimented us!!!

Second one: middle of summer, late at night after picking our son up from work. He climbs into the car and proceeds to bump his door, hitting the truck next to us. I could see the ding. I went into the building and asked if anyone knew who the owner was. The owner spoke up. I proceeded to explain what happened. The owner looked at me and replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Accidents happen. Thank you for being so honest". Another man sitting close by said, "Wow! Who comes and tells they hit another car? Why not just drive off? You don't see that very often".

I share these experiences with you because I keep thinking about how quick they were to forgive the "dings" and damage that was caused. I keep thinking about Nephi and his brothers, how they were horrible to him and after he is free from the ropes they had tied him up with Nephi says, "And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness" (1 Nephi 7:21). To "frankly forgive" means to freely, unrestrictedly, or generously forgive someone. I see now that both of those car owners "frankly forgave" the "dings" that we had done against them. They gave us the beautiful gift of forgiveness.

We have all given and received "dings" and damage to ourselves and our loved ones. Honestly, some dings are bigger than others, sometimes the whole car is totalled. Nevertheless, we are blessed when we forgive, we aren't angry or hold a grudge. We are blessed with peace and comfort.

I no longer have my van, it got totalled by another car. But I do have a different one, and guess what? It has gotten dinged many times! There is one ding that I don't know where it came from, right above the wheel well. As I sat pondering the other incidents I came to realize that I needed to "frankly forgive", and not be angry about that "invisible" ding anymore. If it was the thing I pointed out every time someone got into my car, I would look like an angry and bitter person and I would be the one suffering. And honestly, you can't even notice it unless I point it out (thus it is "invisible"). I definitely need to "frankly forgive".

When the dings happen in life one thing we can remember is this principle of forgiveness taught by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

 "The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

 Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way. 

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive" (The Merciful Obtain Mercy)

As the years have passed, my van is now gone and I have another car with dings in it. I am so grateful to those people who have forgiven me of the "dings" and damage I have unintentionally and perhaps intentionally inflicted upon them on the roads of life. My heart is not to hurt or harm. My heart is to do good. And I have been given examples of how to "frankly forgive" by those two other car owners. I'm really grateful we were honest about causing the dings so that I could have a better understanding of this principle of frankly forgiving.

Forgiveness works. It's freeing. It is the Lord's way. This I testify.

The ding that is "invisible" unless I point it out

"Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great" (D&C 64:33)

I have become very aware of the fact that most of my days have a similar ring or flare to them. I do scripture study, I exercise, I help my family, laundry always piles up. I make dinner and pretty much I do these same activities every day. So when someone asks how are things going or what's new, I think, nothings new and everyday is pretty much the same. I do like it when things are calm and life is pretty predictable. I like that I can count on only having to deal with small bumps in the road during the day (most of the time, so that when the big bumps come I am more prepared). But sometimes I think that I am hardly doing anything and when I had that thought today this scripture came clearly to my mind and truly touched my heart: "Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great" (D&C 64:33). Even though I didn't do anything different or out of the ordinary I realized that I am doing good. And that's great!

When we feel like our days are the same and we aren't making any difference, remember, it is out of the small things that great things happen (see Alma 37:6). When the laundry keeps piling up (and it does) and the dinners might seem like the same old recipes (and they are) and the time driving our children here and there and everywhere seems to take up all our "spare" time (and it does) remember that we are "well-doing" and we are "laying the foundation of a great work". God's children, our families, and our relationships that span the eternities is the great work! God wants us to be together forever. When we take the time to fold clothes with our children and listen to them, gather together for dinner and share about our day, or listen in the car about what they are interested in or perhaps frustrated with, we are laying the foundation of a great work, even the great work of an eternal family. As Paul said to the Galatians, "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not" (Gal. 6:9).

Today was pretty similar to all my other days. And you know what? It was a day of great work and I am so grateful I got to spend my time "in well-doing". Keep up the great work! You're doing amazing things. This I testify.

I got to hang out while my son put together...well-doing.

Putting on the rain cover

Hammock hung and son inside...great work!

"And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29)

On one of my trike rides I couldn't get my front derailleur (the rings in front that help you change gears) to stay in place. I actually had to hold it in place so that it would stay in a harder gear. I thought for sure it was going to cost me a fortune to fix. I rode 35 miles holding it in place, and cut my ride short because I couldn't do brakes and hold the gear in place at the same time without some difficulty. So, a few hours after my ride, and having looked things up on the internet and trying to figure it out, I showed my son the problem. He said, I think it's really simple, got out a small bike tool and simply tightened up a screw! It was such a simple solution and now I can ride again!

I thought this is exactly like the gospel. Sometimes, we want to make things really complicated and hard- perhaps it feels more comfortable when we make it complicated? I don't know. But what I do know is that it's always the simple things that make a difference. Like when Nephi's bow was broken, his family "did begin to murmur exceedingly, because of their sufferings and afflictions in the wilderness" (1 Nephi 16:20).  They blamed Nephi and complained and did nothing. Unfortunately, there are times in my life that I do the exact same thing. I "hold the gear in place" rather than find the simple solution of tightening a screw...it seems "easier" to just go forward with things awry and not take the time to fix a small problem.

Nephi wasn't sucked in by the negativity, instead, Nephi went about doing the simple task of making another bow and then arming himself with these simple tools to obtain food (see 1 Nephi 16:23). As I thought about how Nephi armed himself, I realized that there are things we can do to arm ourselves as well, and keep the "screw" tight. These simple things are reading our scriptures, saying our prayers, attending church so that we can partake of the sacrament and renew our covenants with God and be filled. I know that all too often we want something "more"- more than the simple answers of "say your prayers, attend church, read your scriptures". Well, I'm here to say that those are the "small and simple things" that will actually bring about "great things" and "confound the wise" (Alma 37:6-7). It is the simple solution that has changed my life and opens me up to receive more. 

After obtaining direction from the Lord through the Liahona on where to obtain food, Nephi makes this statement: "And thus we see that by small means the Lord can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29). I like the words, "And thus we see". When I take off the "natural" (see Mosiah 3:19) or "carnal" (see Alma 36:4; Romans 7:14) spectacles that I so frequently wear, I do "see" that God works "by small means [and] can bring about great things" (1 Nephi 16:29). Just like with the small screw that needed to be tightened and made a big difference in my gears and ability to ride my trike safely again. I have found the small things of reading the words of God, praying, and attending church opens our hearts and minds to the things of God. And we can also say, "And thus we see" as we make these small changes, or simply said, tighten a  screw so that we can keep moving forward.

The little screw that needed tightening and made all the difference

"Charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46)

In Relief Society recently we were talking about enduring to the end...and the sister teaching the lesson said that some days feel like eternity and that they will never end. How does one endure those kind of days? We all have them. No one is exempt from those days that can't end soon enough but sometimes last for more than a day, perhaps even weeks. And for some, they may even last a life time. I am thinking about all these incredible women I get to associate with and all of them have endured great difficulties in their lives. I admire them. I respect them. I love them for being who they are. I love them because they have and continue to endure all that is required and given to them (see Mosiah 3:19).

Enduring to the end. It doesn't have to be done with bells on, or even with a joyful noise. Sometimes, the enduring is done with outright screaming and yelling and perhaps even some cuss words may slip out. But it means we don't give up. Enduring is the longest part of the refining process. And this is often when we are truly chosen. The prophets teach us that we are chosen in this refining process: "Behold, I have refined thee, but not with silver; I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction" (Isaiah 48:10; see also 1 Nephi 20:10). We are chosen when we are burning hot in the midst of our affliction and we endure!

I have to relate this to riding my trike because when I am climbing a steep hill, my legs burning, and I am pumping my guts out I think, "And you enjoy this?" And I have to reply, "Yes, I do!" Why?! Because I am enduring, I keep pumping and I might be slow, but it is steady progress. I get so happy that I am actually making progress, as painful as it is, that I exhale a, "Yeah!" between the gasps for more air. Sometimes I have had objects thrown at me or even been flipped off by the driver coming the opposite direction and I think, "Really?!"

There are also times when a rider passes me by and gives me emotional relief as I continue to pedal with words such as, "Awesome!", "Sweet ride!", or "Nice work!".  I sometimes want to say, "This is so freaking hard! Don't you realize that I can't stand up and use my body weight, and my trike is 40 lbs heavier than your bike?" But I don't say those things. Rather, I usually say, "Thanks!" and "Enjoy your ride"! I realize that we are both climbing, we are both working hard, and it is so much work to pedal no matter what you are riding. Pain is pain, and work is work. What is really awesome is the encouragement from others which helps me get to the top, endure and keep making progress even when the climb seems endless. This is charity at its finest (see Moroni 7:45-47).

When I get to the top I am so happy!!!! I actually have been known to let out a loud, "WAHOOO!" as I sail down the other side. I am happy because I have endured and I am actually stronger for having climbed the steep hill. James said it best, "Behold, we count them happy which endure" (James 5:11). This is true.

I love Relief Society because it is about relief. Elder John A. Widtsoe said, "[The] work of...Relief Society...[is the] relief of all that hinders the joy and progress of woman" (Daughters in My Kingdom, pg 25).  As sisters in the Lord's organization for women and as sisters in the gospel we get to help each other keep going up the hills, the long climbs, and sometimes those climbs that never seem to end. In so doing we are fulfilling our covenants in which we are "willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that [we] may be in, even until death..." (Mosiah 18:9).

Keep climbing sisters! We are in this together. And we will make it through those days or climbs that feel like eternity because we love one another and encourage each other. Truly, "Charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46). This I testify.

One of the riders who passed me and gave me good encouragement.

A group of motorcycle riders heading in the opposite direction. They gave me nods and waves of encouragement

The reward of getting to the top- awesome view! And I get to fly down the other side!
(I went faster than the speed limit on the descent)

I love seeing cool things on my rides. A dinosaur in someones back yard made of metal. Love it!