"I did frankly forgive them all that they had done" (1 Nephi 7:21)

Have I told you of the time when we got our van, it was a week old, I was in the parking lot of a store and a woman I knew waved at me? What happened was she proceeded to let go of her cart, it rolled down the parking lot and it hit our new van! I had a nice, round ding above the wheel well. I was so bugged, but I didn't say anything. Since then I have had two other experiences that have helped me learn from this experience. (And yes, I still see the woman regularly).

First one: middle of winter, one of the worst snow storms we had and Jeff and I are out of town. Our daughter calls us that afternoon and tells us she had hit a car in the school parking lot but had left a note on the windshield. Later that evening I got a phone call from the owner of the car. We apologized profusely, and the owner said, "Actually, I am so impressed that your child would leave a note! Thank you for teaching your child to be honest. Please don't worry about the damage to the car. Just pay it forward. Again, thanks for teaching honesty". He had totally forgiven the damage and our child and even complimented us!!!

Second one: middle of summer, late at night after picking our son up from work. He climbs into the car and proceeds to bump his door, hitting the truck next to us. I could see the ding. I went into the building and asked if anyone knew who the owner was. The owner spoke up. I proceeded to explain what happened. The owner looked at me and replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Accidents happen. Thank you for being so honest". Another man sitting close by said, "Wow! Who comes and tells they hit another car? Why not just drive off? You don't see that very often".

I share these experiences with you because I keep thinking about how quick they were to forgive the "dings" and damage that was caused. I keep thinking about Nephi and his brothers, how they were horrible to him and after he is free from the ropes they had tied him up with Nephi says, "And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness" (1 Nephi 7:21). To "frankly forgive" means to freely, unrestrictedly, or generously forgive someone. I see now that both of those car owners "frankly forgave" the "dings" that we had done against them. They gave us the beautiful gift of forgiveness.

We have all given and received "dings" and damage to ourselves and our loved ones. Honestly, some dings are bigger than others, sometimes the whole car is totalled. Nevertheless, we are blessed when we forgive, we aren't angry or hold a grudge. We are blessed with peace and comfort.

I no longer have my van, it got totalled by another car. But I do have a different one, and guess what? It has gotten dinged many times! There is one ding that I don't know where it came from, right above the wheel well. As I sat pondering the other incidents I came to realize that I needed to "frankly forgive", and not be angry about that "invisible" ding anymore. If it was the thing I pointed out every time someone got into my car, I would look like an angry and bitter person and I would be the one suffering. And honestly, you can't even notice it unless I point it out (thus it is "invisible"). I definitely need to "frankly forgive".

When the dings happen in life one thing we can remember is this principle of forgiveness taught by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

 "The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

 Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way. 

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive" (The Merciful Obtain Mercy)

As the years have passed, my van is now gone and I have another car with dings in it. I am so grateful to those people who have forgiven me of the "dings" and damage I have unintentionally and perhaps intentionally inflicted upon them on the roads of life. My heart is not to hurt or harm. My heart is to do good. And I have been given examples of how to "frankly forgive" by those two other car owners. I'm really grateful we were honest about causing the dings so that I could have a better understanding of this principle of frankly forgiving.

Forgiveness works. It's freeing. It is the Lord's way. This I testify.

The ding that is "invisible" unless I point it out