"Doubt not, but be believing" (Mormon 9:27)

So I ask myself, do I believe God will give me instruction and direction in my life...

And then I read this scripture about Nephi and his brothers who were complaining against Nephi and making fun of him for believing that he could build a ship. Nephi's brothers didn't believe that Nephi could build a ship or even get instruction from the Lord. "And thus my brethren did complain against me, and were desirous that they might not labor for they did not believe that I could build a ship; neither would they believe that I was instructed of the Lord" (1 Nephi 17:18). As I read, there are a couple of things I learn from Nephi and his brothers in this small passage of scripture.

First: Do I "complain" about my leaders or teachers? What kind of attitude do I have? Nephi's brothers were obviously murmuring and saying negative things about their leader. Am I willing to take advice or learn from someone else that I may not really like or feel isn't up to the task? Am I willing to set aside my opinions (which may or may not be correct) in order to learn from someone whom I don't see eye to eye with? This quote from Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf has given me pause after reading about the brother's attitudes. He said: "[Jennifer], let me be clear: there is nothing noble or impressive about being cynical. Skepticism is easy- anyone can do it. It is the faithful life that requires moral strength, dedication, and courage. Those who hold fast to the faith are far more impressive than those who give into doubt when mysterious questions or concerns arise" (Be Not Afraid, Only Believe). Again, I ask myself, what kind of attitude do I have or desire to have?

Second: Nephi's brother's had no desire to work, they "were desirous that they might not labor". How hard am I willing to work at something when I do receive divine help, guidance, or insight? Am I willing to sacrifice my time and talents and work hard enough to "build a ship"? Is missionary work, family history, visiting teaching as hard or as difficult as building a ship? What about developing a talent, being a good mother...or anything that requires effort? How hard am I willing to work? With that question in mind, this scripture has a whole new insight: "Teach them to never be weary of good works" (Alma 37:34).

Third: Do I believe that I can "build a ship"? The Lord expects us to have confidence in our ability to work and build that which we have asked Him to help us with. He will always provide a way for us to "accomplish the thing which he has commanded [us]" (1 Nephi 17:3). Do I believe that if I ask I will receive, and then, do I believe enough to build it?

Forth: Do I believe that I am instructed or will be instructed of the Lord? Nephi was told by the Lord, "Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee" and Nephi tells his brothers: "If the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship" (1 Nephi 17:8,49-51). Do I believe that I will get the proper instruction and guidance to "build a ship"? And then I have to ask, "What is the ship that I need to be working on now?"

Nephi does build a ship, but it is not like other ships. His faith is such that he builds it according to the instructions that are given to him by the Lord. "Now, I Nephi, did not work the timbers after the manner which was learned by men, neither did I build the ship after the manner of men; but I did build it after the manner which the Lord had shown unto me; wherefore, it was not after the manner of men" (1 Nephi 18:2). When I receive instructions from the Lord and they don't seem to follow patterns that are like others I have seen in the world, am I willing to set aside my ways, my thoughts, my ideas and follow after the pattern the Lord gives me? Do I believe that He will guide me to "build a ship", one that is so strong and reliable that it will carry me and my family "across the waters" (1 Nephi 17:8)?

So again I ask myself, do I believe God will give me instruction and direction in my life? And I hear the words in my mind, "Doubt not, but be believing" (Mormon 9:27). I know that the Lord asks each of us to "build a ship". I also know that He will give us instruction and guidance as to how that ship needs to be built. It comes back to us and what we choose to believe. I repeat the words that keep coming to me, "Doubt not, but be believing". I know He will help us build as we believe and doubt not. This I testify.

"I did frankly forgive them all that they had done" (1 Nephi 7:21)

Have I told you of the time when we got our van, it was a week old, I was in the parking lot of a store and a woman I knew waved at me? What happened was she proceeded to let go of her cart, it rolled down the parking lot and it hit our new van! I had a nice, round ding above the wheel well. I was so bugged, but I didn't say anything. Since then I have had two other experiences that have helped me learn from this experience. (And yes, I still see the woman regularly).

First one: middle of winter, one of the worst snow storms we had and Jeff and I are out of town. Our daughter calls us that afternoon and tells us she had hit a car in the school parking lot but had left a note on the windshield. Later that evening I got a phone call from the owner of the car. We apologized profusely, and the owner said, "Actually, I am so impressed that your child would leave a note! Thank you for teaching your child to be honest. Please don't worry about the damage to the car. Just pay it forward. Again, thanks for teaching honesty". He had totally forgiven the damage and our child and even complimented us!!!

Second one: middle of summer, late at night after picking our son up from work. He climbs into the car and proceeds to bump his door, hitting the truck next to us. I could see the ding. I went into the building and asked if anyone knew who the owner was. The owner spoke up. I proceeded to explain what happened. The owner looked at me and replied, "Oh, don't worry about it. Accidents happen. Thank you for being so honest". Another man sitting close by said, "Wow! Who comes and tells they hit another car? Why not just drive off? You don't see that very often".

I share these experiences with you because I keep thinking about how quick they were to forgive the "dings" and damage that was caused. I keep thinking about Nephi and his brothers, how they were horrible to him and after he is free from the ropes they had tied him up with Nephi says, "And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done, and I did exhort them that they would pray unto the Lord their God for forgiveness" (1 Nephi 7:21). To "frankly forgive" means to freely, unrestrictedly, or generously forgive someone. I see now that both of those car owners "frankly forgave" the "dings" that we had done against them. They gave us the beautiful gift of forgiveness.

We have all given and received "dings" and damage to ourselves and our loved ones. Honestly, some dings are bigger than others, sometimes the whole car is totalled. Nevertheless, we are blessed when we forgive, we aren't angry or hold a grudge. We are blessed with peace and comfort.

I no longer have my van, it got totalled by another car. But I do have a different one, and guess what? It has gotten dinged many times! There is one ding that I don't know where it came from, right above the wheel well. As I sat pondering the other incidents I came to realize that I needed to "frankly forgive", and not be angry about that "invisible" ding anymore. If it was the thing I pointed out every time someone got into my car, I would look like an angry and bitter person and I would be the one suffering. And honestly, you can't even notice it unless I point it out (thus it is "invisible"). I definitely need to "frankly forgive".

When the dings happen in life one thing we can remember is this principle of forgiveness taught by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf:

 "The people around us are not perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint, and anger. In this mortal life it will always be that way.

 Nevertheless, we must let go of our grievances. Part of the purpose of mortality is to learn how to let go of such things. That is the Lord's way. 

Remember, heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive" (The Merciful Obtain Mercy)

As the years have passed, my van is now gone and I have another car with dings in it. I am so grateful to those people who have forgiven me of the "dings" and damage I have unintentionally and perhaps intentionally inflicted upon them on the roads of life. My heart is not to hurt or harm. My heart is to do good. And I have been given examples of how to "frankly forgive" by those two other car owners. I'm really grateful we were honest about causing the dings so that I could have a better understanding of this principle of frankly forgiving.

Forgiveness works. It's freeing. It is the Lord's way. This I testify.

The ding that is "invisible" unless I point it out