"...Always Remember Him" (D&C 20:77,79)

Me and my nephew James, who is loved and missed!

Death. It's so final. It's difficult to describe the suffering that comes when a loved one dies. Especially when they die unexpectedly.

I have always been afraid of the pain that accompanies the death of a loved one. Grief is such a heavy burden to bear, even more so when I am alone. When I only focus on the loss, the separation that death brings with it, the cross of grief is unbearable.

When Jesus' dear friend Lazarus had died, Lazarus' sister, Martha, said to Him, "Lord, if thou hadst been here, my brother had not died". Jesus first tries to comfort her by saying, "Thy brother shall rise again". I love that Martha responds by sharing her faith and belief with Jesus, "I know that he shall rise again in the resurrection at the last day." (John 11). I too know this, that I shall see my loved ones again at the resurrection. But I feel overwhelming grief at this separation that came so unexpectedly.

As the conversation continues between Jesus and Martha, He also testifies of His power and light. "I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die." (John 11:25)

When death comes to a loved one, faith is tried and tested. Grief clouds my thoughts and makes my heart heavy. I have a difficult time seeing through the darkness that has accompanied this death.

Christ asks, "Believest though this?" I must ask myself, do I believe Christ? Do I believe that death is not the end? Do I believe that those who live and believe in Christ "never die"? Death is a great test of faith for all of us.

As Jesus goes with Mary and Martha to the tomb of Lazarus a crowd follows. What is the Savior's response? Does He say, "I have this covered. Don't cry. Don't mourn"? No. He cares for them as a dear friend would care.

Jesus wept. (John 11:35)

"Jesus wept" (John 11:35).

He felt their loss. He felt their grief. He had compassion for them. He cried with them.

If I focus on grief, I cannot bear this cross of pain and suffering (see Be Still, My Soul). It is too painful. It is too heavy (Matthew 11:28).

I am not alone in my grief. And I want to bear it well (see 2 Nephi 9:18). How can I do this? How can I get through this loss of life, the loss of all the memories that will not be...

I force my focus to shift from grief to hope in the Savior.

I practice focusing on Jesus Christ by looking to the "light which shineth," which gives me and you light (D&C 88:11). The light is that death is not the end. The light is the small blessings of comfort extended by friends, loved ones, and even more, the love God has for all of us.

As I focus on Christ I can see! I am able to endure the darkness of death and loss of life. My burden is made lighter (in weight and in brightness).

I can bear this cross as I stay focused on the Savior. He saves me from being lost in grief.

The Resurrected Christ, by Wilson J. Ong 

Jesus Christ is the resurrection (Helaman 14:15-17), it's in Him that I can live, I can endure (see Philippians 4:13) and have hope (see 1 Thessalonians 1:3).

It's through Christ, and because of Christ that I can endure all things (see Philippians 4:13), even the unexpected death of a loved one.

Every week I covenant to "always remember Him" (Moroni 4-5; see also D&C 20:77, 79). I am learning to do this more.

I am becoming better at remembering, as I bear my cross of grief and pain (see Be Still, My Soul).