"When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives." President Ezra Taft Benson

I love this quote. It has been very influential  and powerful in my life. It works. When I put God first, everything else falls into place or literally disappears out of my life. Test it for yourself...with real intent, meaning that you will actually follow the impressions you get to do what you feel and know are right, even when it is very difficult. God never goes back on His promises... He does promise we will be tried. (see Ether 6:12; 3 Nephi 26:11; D&C136:31) But He only makes things better for us. This I testify. 

"Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection". (D&C130:18)

Did you know that intelligence and obedience are connected?
I have always wanted to be a smart person, but never really considered myself to be all that “smart”, partly because I stink at math and I am not that great of a speller (thank heavens for spell check, and even then I make mistakes. Please forgive me.) There is always someone smarter (of course). But as I started to ponder intelligence, real intelligence, it’s not at all about how smart I am. It is all about how obedient I am.

Now, I can already feel some of you squirming. Obedience?! Follow rules! Have someone tell me what to do, yeah right, …….you get the idea. But honestly, let’s talk intelligence.

The worlds definition of intelligence is this: "the ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations: REASON; also: the skilled use of reason" (Merriam-Webster). We all gain intelligence through the experiences we have, the information we gather, and the things we allow into our mind, and from our own behavior. So, my question is, what is the best way to get intelligence? Of course there is an answer, and one has an advantage over others in gaining more intelligence, and the only true advantage comes from obedience. Obedience to laws of the land allow us freedom to learn and excel in the things we seek knowledge in and therefore gain more intelligence. We also gain intelligence from being obedient to to the laws of God and receive eternal blessings that are unfathomable.

The promise is this: "Whatever principle of intelligence we attain unto in this life, it will rise with us in the resurrection. And if a person gains more knowledge and intelligence in this life through his diligence and obedience than another, he will have so much the advantage in the world to come" (D&C 130:18-19). True intelligence can only come from following truth through "diligence and obedience". Anyone can learn to be devious, or manipulative, or take advantage of one's neighbor. Where real intelligence comes in is when we keep our integrity, our loyalty, our morals when everyone else and all else beckons us and calls us to do otherwise.

Having been betrayed and treated as an outcast, looked upon as one who takes advantage of others when I know in my heart I am doing all I can to stay true to the principles that are right, it is so hard to not give into bitterness and cynicism (understatement). Taking a stand for what is right when there is shouting and cheering for those who are doing things that are blatantly wrong is very difficult. I testify of this! It is hard to be called names and black listed by friends, or people I thought were friends. But, in reality, I could never stand before my Maker and say, "I was more afraid of them, than I was of holding onto what was right." (I pray our children will have the courage to do that when they are faced with temptations that will confront them, for they most assuredly will.)

Some days, I will admit, I have to hope there is justice, because life doesn't seem fair, even though I know in God's view it really is. And over all, I know that things will work out how they are suppose to. The following scripture has given me great hope, and new understanding as I have struggled to understand some of the things I have had to go through. "There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated— And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated" (D&C 130:20-21). Blessings are granted upon obedience. At times it may appear that others receive so much and have so much when they are so disobedient to the laws of God. But I cannot worry about others. I can only worry about my own intelligence, my own diligence and obedience in seeking this intelligence which I desire so much. If I end up doing something that goes against the truth that I know, such as the Golden Rule, then I will lose intelligence. And I will also lose blessings. I must be obedient to the truths that I know are right, no matter how much I want justice. I am not the judge. I am not the great equalizer. I am learning that it takes more intelligence to be patient, forgiving, kind, slow to anger, and many more things when the world, or even the natural woman inside of me is shouting to just "give in and get even." Especially if the other person "deserves it." Well, I am sure I "deserve it" too. There are times when we all "deserve it", but that's not how we are going to get any more intelligent, by getting even with each other. We can only get more intelligence by putting off "the natural man" and "yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit" (Mosiah 3:19).

It makes sense to me now why "The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth" (D&C 93:36). It is because He never yielded to the natural man. He overcame ALL. He says, "Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me" (D&C 19:23). It is so true, when I respond to any situation in a Christ like manner, I feel incredibly good, so peaceful and filled with joy. It is in those moments that I know I am gaining true intelligence. God's intelligence. I love getting "light and truth". It feels good to be intelligent! This I testify.

I am the true light that lighteth every man that cometh into the world; (D&C 93:2)

Sometimes I get so grouchy and grumpy. My poor family gets the brunt of it, of course. I put on a happy face for the public and then hide in the safety of my home, a place of refuge and honestly, my true identity. I hope that I am able to also let my family know I appreciate how much they mean to me...especially when it comes to letting me be me. I am not always the most pleasant person to be around, tired and hungry aren't a great combination with me (they can testify of that), especially on long trips. Also, after a day when past terrors are hashed over and over, unbeknownst by well meaning people who just want to share their own experiences or stories of their own terrors with bad dragons in their own lives. On days like today, I became the ogre that should have just stayed in her cave and never came out. But I came out anyway. (Good thing I didn't have a head ache to go with it.)

It's on days like today that I really fight the darkness. I don't like darkness. It can be so black. So, on days like today I look for Light. It is always there. Some days, I just have to look a little closer, or take a little more time to SEE. Seeing in the dark is difficult when I put blinders on by my own anger or my own self pity. (Man, can pity really get me sometimes....and then the crying starts, I am not such a pretty sight.)

Okay...I need to find Light. Here is my Light list for today. Jeffrey- the love of my life. He is funny, honest, ever so patient with me and my mood swings. I am so grateful that I have him as a source of Light. He is more than I ever dreamed of in a husband, best friend, and lover. He is fabulous (understatement)! My children- I could name them one by one, but I won't, simply for privacy sake. Each of them help lift me and teach me. I learn as I go as a parent and I am ever so grateful they are so forgiving. They Light up my day with good news, stories of things that have happened, and mostly themselves. They are true blessings in my life! Scriptures- I have to list them because without them...I honestly don't know where I would be. I constantly find Light in them every time I read. They are life blood for me. They bring me peace, insight, a calmness that can't be described, and a communication with God that is honest and open. I love the scriptures! My family and friends-I am truly blessed to be surrounded by Light from these precious souls. I am so grateful that I have them in my life. They have saved mine many a time, definitely unbeknownst to them. I am grateful for the Light of those who choose to not only listen to the Spirit, but also to act upon the prompting given to them to call, or email me or some small act of service, such as sharing a thought they have read in a book or just saying, “Hi, how are you doing” and sincerely meaning it. Honestly, "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6.

I may be grouchy and a bit (okay, really) annoyed tonight, but I am so grateful for all the Light in my life! What an incredible life I have. I guess it is normal to have a bad day every once in a while...or perhaps more than that. But it doesn't mean I have to focus on the dark. Nope. I will focus on the Light. Christ said, "The light shineth in darkness, and the darkness comprehendeth it not; nevertheless, the day shall come when you shall comprehend even God, being quickened in him and by him. Then shall ye know that ye have seen me, that I am, and that I am the true light that is in you, and that you are in me; otherwise ye could not abound" D&C 88:49-50. Christ is the Light that is all of us. I will keep looking for that light that shines in the darkness. It lights up my day...even on the darkest of days (those are hard days and I would prefer to not have them, but I don't always get my way.) Aside from the dark days...life really is good, and that would be most of the time. This I testify.

Quote from: Thomas S. Monson

 "'The Savior said:' 'A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another. . . .' 'By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another' John 13:34–35.'Mother Teresa, a Catholic nun who worked among the poor in India most of her life, spoke this truth: 'If you judge people, you have no time to love them.' '

Thomas S. Monson, 'May You Have Courage,' Ensign, May 2009, 124"

"But I say unto you, Love your enemies..." Matt. 5:44; 3 Nephi 12:44

As my son has been teased a lot (way too much in my opinion) I have had the opportunity to teach him how to deal with being teased. I have also had ample time to ponder what is the best way to handle being teased or in today’s world, being verbally "bullied." I know it comes back to Christ. Utlimately everything comes back to Christ. He has given us the tools, the example, and the way to deal with everything in our lives. It isn’t necessarily the easiest or the coolest, or the world’s way of dealing with things. But it is the best way of dealing with things.

Truly Christ did give us the best way of dealing with bullies. We call it the “golden rule” in our home. How we say it is, “treat others how you want to be treated”. When Christ came the people were living the law of Israel which was “an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” Leviticus 4:20 Matt. 5:38 .But He taught them to live a higher law, saying, “…but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also…” Matt. 5:38-39 3 Nephi 12:39. This is really hard to tell my child who is being made fun of, let them call you names, for names don’t matter. How do I get him to ignore and not react when these children make fun of him? I think it is vital for my son to learn that there are going to be mean people throughout his life, not just in school, because even as an adult I get made fun of at times, flipped off in a car, or yelled at for my religious or political points of view, especially if I stand up for what I believe in.  He has to learn to ignore the mean people, and not get angry with them, basically , “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me”, concept. Dealing with mean people with anger can lead to violence, poor choices and poor self-esteem. I want my children to have Christ-esteem, which means to trust in the Lord. Self-esteem implies relying on oneself. What a great thing to have my child be filled with Christ-esteem! To have their identity centered in Christ. Now that is a steadfast place to be anchored Ether 12:4.

The Lord continues with His teaching, “Ye have heard that it has been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you” Matt. 5:43-44 3 Nephi 12:43-44. What an incredible concept! To love those who are my enemies. To do good to those who hate me. To pray for those who despitefully use me and persecute me. Sometimes Most of the time, I have to admit, this is SO hard! But it is amazing what it does for me when I do it. It changes me. It’s not really about what it does for my enemies. But it is about what it does for me… to me. Christ is giving me an opportunity to change, to be changed through my experiences. He finishes by saying, “For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?” Matt. 5:46 My reward comes through loving my enemies. My reward is that I am changed..."That ye may be the children of your Father which is in Heaven..." Matt. 5:45. If I say I believe in Christ then I need to follow Him, do as He did, act as He acted, even when it doesn't seem like it is right, at least not right in terms of how the world thinks. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" Isaiah 55:8-9.

As Easter was this past weekend, I have pondered the crucifixion of Christ and His resurrection. He was the perfect example of this very “golden rule” as He was tortured, spit upon, called names, made fun of, mocked, and betrayed. He didn’t lash out in anger even though He had the power to destroy every one of them. But more importantly He had the power to lift them in their lowest state as they did such acts of shame, to their Lord and Savior, whom they obviously knew not. Jesus Christ loved His enemies. He blessed them that cursed Him. He did good to those who hated Him (healing the ear of the servant of the high priest who had come to take Him to be tried, Luke 22:51 is just one example of this.) He even prayed for those who were despitefully using Him and persecuting Him as He hung on the cross saying,  "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do" Luke 23:34 . He performed the perfect act for those who did wrong to Him that they might be resurrected some day through His grace and be able to stand before God the Father. He loved them enough to finish the greater task of giving them life. He is the example, the perfect example of how to handle a bully.

I pray I can teach my children this. I pray that I can have the faith to be changed, and help my children to be changed as well as they develop their own faith in Jesus Christ. For I know that He doesn't give us any commandments "save He shall prepare a for [us] that [we] may accomplish the the thing which he commandeth [us]" 1 Nephi 3:7. This I testify.