For me, being a mother is part of who I am. I believe that it is a part of all women, whether or not we have children, and it is up to us to develop our mothering "skills". Someone once said to me that some women aren't "naturally inclined to being a mother". My response is that they can choose to develop those mothering qualities and abilities just as they would learn to work hard, learn to cook, learn to read. It takes time to develop the skills of a mother...and what are those skills? Honestly, I think the skills for being a mother or a good parent even, are to "...be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works. (Alma 7:23-24). As I type this list, I realize that none of these can really be measured at all. And some days I feel rather ungrateful...and I don't give thanks "for whatsoever thing [I] do receive." So I keep practicing, and it's hard work.
These skills are what will help me as a mother, as a wife, a sister, a friend, a neighbor. Do I dare ask, "How are you measuring up?"
The world would say I am nothing...God says he will make me great. I trust God.
I am not always great at working on these skills. Sometimes I get a little sidetracked and am slow to respond or decide I need to work on some other worldly aspect. But in the end, these are the skills that God wants me to develop. It's not popular to be submissive and gentle. If I did what popular media tells me to do I would seek for revenge and make sure everyone gets what I think they deserve- especially if they have hurt me or one of my loved ones.
God's measure of my greatness is about my heart. "God looketh on the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). Man looks on the outward appearance. I like this thought about women working on building a home for their families and the contributions they make:
"Women who make a house a home make a far greater contribution to society than those who command large armies or stand at the head of impressive corporations. Who can put a price tag on the influence a mother has on her children, a grandmother on her posterity, or aunts and sisters on their extended family?
We cannot begin to measure or calculate the influence of women who, in their own ways, build stable family life and nurture for everlasting good the generations of the future. The decisions made by the women of this generation will be eternal in their consequences. May I suggest that the mothers of today have no greater opportunity and no more serious challenge than to do all they can to strengthen the [home]” (Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes [2000], 152). (Finding Lasting Peace and Building Eternal Families).
Another statement about measuring by Pres. Ezra Taft Benson says: "The best measure of true greatness is how Christlike we are" (A Christ Centered Life). That's a pretty high measuring rod. Are we measuring up?
This is the measure I practice living my life by. I make mistakes, but I am practicing and that means I will make mistakes.
I want to make a difference for my family. I want to strengthen our home so "that our children may know to what source they may look for the remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26). I want to teach and lead by example. I want to be a better wife, a better friend, a better woman, a better daughter of God. I must let go of the worlds measure and open my heart to God's measure. I am enough because I am God's. I will keep practicing these mothering skills. It's all in a days work.
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