"God looketh on the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7)

I am a mother. I am a stay-at-home mom. I am a homemaker. By the world's measuring stick  of "value", I am not worth very much. I don't make any money and there is not a real way to measure what I do. So, I am practicing  measuring myself by the Lord's standards and not the standards of the world. Some days it is easier than others to feel my own value and worth than others. I keep practicing. And I ask myself, "How do I measure up"?

For me, being a mother is part of who I am. I believe that it is a part of all women, whether or not we have children, and it is up to us to develop our mothering "skills". Someone once said to me that some women aren't "naturally inclined to being a mother". My response is that they can choose to develop those mothering qualities and abilities just as they would learn to work hard, learn to cook, learn to read. It takes time to develop the skills of a mother...and what are those skills? Honestly, I think the skills for being a mother or a good parent even, are to "...be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works. (Alma 7:23-24). As I type this list, I realize that none of these can really be measured at all. And some days I feel rather ungrateful...and I don't give thanks "for whatsoever thing [I] do receive." So I keep practicing, and it's hard work.

These skills are what will help me as a mother, as a wife, a sister, a friend, a neighbor. Do I dare ask, "How are you measuring up?"

The world would say I am nothing...God says he will make me great. I trust God.

I am not always great at working on these skills. Sometimes I get a little sidetracked and am slow to respond or decide I need to work on some other worldly aspect. But in the end, these are the skills that God wants me to develop. It's not popular to be submissive and gentle. If I did what popular media tells me to do I would seek for revenge and make sure everyone gets what I think they deserve- especially if they have hurt me or one of my loved ones.

God's measure of my greatness is about my heart. "God looketh on the heart" (1 Sam. 16:7). Man looks on the outward appearance. I like this thought about women working on building a home for their families and the contributions they make:

"Women who make a house a home make a far greater contribution to society than those who command large armies or stand at the head of impressive corporations. Who can put a price tag on the influence a mother has on her children, a grandmother on her posterity, or aunts and sisters on their extended family?
We cannot begin to measure or calculate the influence of women who, in their own ways, build stable family life and nurture for everlasting good the generations of the future. The decisions made by the women of this generation will be eternal in their consequences. May I suggest that the mothers of today have no greater opportunity and no more serious challenge than to do all they can to strengthen the [home]” (Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes [2000], 152). (Finding Lasting Peace and Building Eternal Families).

Another statement about measuring by Pres. Ezra Taft Benson says: "The best measure of true greatness is how Christlike we are" (A Christ Centered Life). That's a pretty high measuring rod. Are we measuring up?

This is the measure I practice living my life by. I make mistakes, but I am practicing and that means I will make mistakes.

I want to make a difference for my family. I want to strengthen our home so "that our children may know to what source they may look for the remission of their sins" (2 Nephi 25:26). I want to teach and lead by example. I want to be a better wife, a better friend, a better woman, a better daughter of God. I must let go of the worlds measure and open my heart to God's measure. I am enough because I am God's. I will keep practicing these mothering skills. It's all in a days work.

"How oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings" (3 Nephi 10:6)

I have to admit that I have often wondered if being a mother is enough. I do a lot of cooking, a lot of laundry, a lot of driving children all over, to, and from places. I do a lot of things that get absolutely no praise or thanks, but a lot of exhaustion at the end of the day. Pondering this roll of motherhood, the powerful doctrine that all women are mothers whether they have had children or not is taught as Eve was called the "mother of all living" before she gave birth to children  (Genesis 3:20; Moses 4:26). It is more than just cooking, driving, doing laundry and all the mundane things that seem to crowd out some of the power that comes with doing these essential tasks that keep a family going, that make a house a home and a group of people a family. Let me try and explain through a personal experience this week.

I usually am pretty good at making dinner and making sure we eat together as a family. This week, one day I failed to plan and when I got home from a meeting that had been for our children, it was already dinner time. I decided we would have leftovers or everyone could have cereal. Everyone was fine with this. My request was that we eat together. Well, time went by and family members got their various food options and proceeded to eat them as they heated up, or completed whatever task they were working. We didn't eat together. I was kind of bummed that we missed out on that family time. I don't know if anyone else noticed, but I did. There was no gathering.

As a mother, meal time, cooking, even if it is just cold cereal, is about gathering. Gathering is an essential doctrine that Christ teaches. "O ye house of Israel who I have spared, how oft will I gather you as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if ye will repent and return unto me with full purpose of heart" (3 Nephi 10:6 (4-6), D&C 10:65, Luke 13:34). Christ gathers His covenant people, His children, "as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings". As a mother, I gather my family each night around our dinner table to protect and strengthen my loved ones. Elder Dallin H. Oaks, an apostle of the Lord, taught this about gathering together for dinner: "The number of those who report that their whole family usually eats dinner together has declined 33 percent. This is most concerning because the time a family spend together eating meals at home is the strongest predictor of children's academic achievement and psychological adjustment. Family mealtimes have also been shown to be a strong bulwark against children's smoking, drinking, or using drugs. There is inspired wisdom in this advice to parents: what your children really want for dinner is you" (Good, Better, Best).

Gathering is part of my role as a mother. It's not just about cooking or cleaning. But about gathering my loved ones about me, just as Christ gathers His loved ones, "For, behold, I will gather them as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, if they will not harden their hearts; Yea, if they will come, they may, and partake of the waters of life freely" (D&C 10:65-66). The roll of a mother is enough and so much more. The world just doesn't see it as He does, and as I am continuing to learn to see and cherish. Gathering, this I testify, is part of the power, strength, and responsibility of being a mother.