"That which is of God is light" (D&C 50:24)

The phrase: "That which is of God is light" (D&C 50:24) has given me great hope in a time when I have been, what feels like, in an endless darkness. It can, at times, be black and suffocating. When I get like that, I get very uncomfortable and I seem to have a warped sense of what is and is not. It is then that I pray that I may see "...things as they really are, and of things as they really will be" (Jacob 4:13). To have the view of things "as they really are" helps me know that this darkness is temporary. The burden of blackness is not fun in anyway, and it is a great burden to bear. I plead, when it comes, to be gone and to have light again. But sometimes the burden stays longer than I would like.

We all have burdens that we must endure, and some which we may have to bear for a lifetime. As I have pondered this "blackness" that comes, I realize that God is light, not dark. It is one thing to tell myself this and a whole other thing to put it into practice. But I keep practicing. Christ calls us out of darkness: "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30). My thoughts turn to "light". He say's His yoke is easy, and His burden is light. Perhaps light means something more than just light weight. Perhaps it means- light, as in spiritual light.

Burdens are heavy, but will be made "light" through Christ. They can be a source for us to access His light- the light of truth, as we come unto Him. We are taught, "That which is of God is light: and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (D&C 50:24). What God gives us is spiritual light, which leads us out of darkness. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf said, "...Even though we may feel lost in the midst of our current circumstances, God promises the hope of His light- He promises to illuminate the way before us and show us the way out of darkness" (The Hope of God's Light).

Though this burden of darkness sometimes seems overwhelming and can be debilitating, I know that there is great hope and light in this experience. I also know that I must "come unto Christ" (see Matthew 11:28-30) if I want the darkness to dissipate. When darkness hits, or burdens of any kind, the way to get out of darkness is to "begin exactly where you are right now. It doesn't matter how unqualified you may think you are or how far behind others you may feel. The very moment you begin to seek your Heavenly Father, in that moment, the hope of His light will begin to awaken, enliven, and ennoble your soul. The darkness may not dissipate all at once, but as surely as night always gives way to dawn, the light will come" (The Hope of God's Light). 

"That which is of God is light" (D&C 50:24)- not only is it light in weight, but is spiritual light! "Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (John 8:12). Christ is there to help us bear our burdens, to guide us through the dark, and to fill us with light, "...and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (D&C 50:24). This I testify.

He will make our burdens "light"

Christ is the light of the world

"...Encircled about...in the arms of His love" (2 Nephi 1:15)

Sometimes I have felt a little distanced in Relief Society, like, feeling lonely in a room full of people. I blame no one for these feelings of insecurity, and I realized that if I wanted to love Relief Society and the sisters who are in my ward, I needed to be responsible for the change. I wanted to have a stronger testimony that this is God's work and He is aware of me therefore I began to ask for such (see Alma 7:23). It has come to me that this is God's organization for woman to aid, serve, lift, and to truly help relieve suffering. I now understand and know that we are not only figuratively, but also, "literally encircled in the arms of His love" (Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley; 2 Nephi 1:15). Here are a couple of experiences that have helped strengthen my testimony of Relief Society and the power of sisterhood that is within this organization.

I have been able to enjoy quilting with four sisters in my ward on a regular basis at the Humanitarian Center (read about the Humanitarian Center here). We are able to tie quilts that are sent all over the world to those in need and visit together. These women are so positive, devoted, caring, and faithful. I have come to truly love these women who love the Lord and serve Him in so many ways. I have enjoyed spending time with them and learning about their lives, their faith, their hopes, and difficult times. Their faith has strengthened my faith and resolve to "endure in faith to the end" (D&C 20:25) even when things don't always go as expected or planned.

Recently, without going into great detail, my mother has had some very serious health issues. A lot of her care and welfare has been my responsibility. My sister and sister-in-law have been an incredible source of support and help. This has been, at times, moments, hours, and days, an overwhelming experience to watch my mother suffer and endure great pain. I have spent countless hours caring for her at home and at the hospital. One day, after having been at the hospital, I came home to make dinner for my family- it was late and I was exhausted. It also happened that my husband was also working late that particular night. I started to pull some things out of the fridge when I turned and noticed a rotisserie chicken on our counter and a loaf of bread. I was confused about where it had come from. I asked my son, "Where did this chicken come from?" My son told me that one of the sisters in the quilt group had dropped it off saying, "Eat this now or when you need it." Tears rolled down my cheeks as I made cauliflower and a small salad to go with it. I was filled with peace and comfort from this small act of kindness. I was literally "encircled about...in the arms of His love" (2 Nephi 1:15). Because of this thoughtful act of service, I felt some relief from my suffering. My burden had been made lighter (see Mosiah 18:8).

The following day, another sister from this quilting group called me to see how my mother and I were doing. It was a simple phone call, but oh, how it nourished my soul, and again, made my burden lighter to bear. It confirmed the words of a prophet: "It is the natural instinct of women to reach out in love to those in distress" (Pres. Gordon B. Hinckley). I was in distress, yet, I felt loved and supported as this dear sister reached out through a simple phone call.

My suffering was again alleviated when my visiting teacher called and asked if she could stop by. I had just returned home after having spent many hours helping my mother. It had been an especially long and emotional day. At the time I was watching my brothers three youngest children so he and his wife could go and visit with our mother. When my visiting teacher showed up to visit, she had in her hands a small plant and a belated birthday card. As we began to visit she said, "I haven't read the message but the first line jumped out at me and it says, 'I will not leave you comfortless" (John 14:18). It couldn't have been more perfectly timed or said. She then bore the most tender and heartfelt testimony of God's love for us, and said, "Even when there is a new mountain to climb, He will guide us and help us in our darkest times". Indeed He does!

God "encircles [us] about...in the arms of His love through the Relief Society whose members are daughters of God who love Him. It is a society of sisters, all connected by service, covenant keeping, charity, faith, and hope. What a beautiful and godly blessing to be surrounded by these precious women, my sisters in the gospel, even my sisters in Relief Society- who act as God's hands in offering relief to those who suffer and encircling us in the arms of His love.

"...Pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44)

Practicing is important...and this is what I learned about practicing from a sandwich.

I was riding my trike up a hill close to the local high school when I got smacked on the arm with something wet, soggy, and it hurt. Stuff splattered all over my bike and me. I was shocked to find that the kids in the black Jeep had just thrown a sandwich out their window at me. They were laughing as they accelerated away from me. I sat up in my seat and yelled, "Thanks a lot! Nice, really nice!" If I could have, I would have caught up to them...but going uphill on a trike, pretty much impossible.

As I continued on my ride, with the stench of  what smelled like some sort of salad dressing on my arm, I was trying so hard not to be angry, I mean really angry. I don't like being mad on my rides. It's my way of relaxing and enjoying life. I usually get a lot of friendly waves and thumbs up when I ride- never food thrown at me. So, I kept thinking about how I should handle this. Honestly, I wanted to knock some sense into these kids, but I had no idea who they were or where to find them. So, I just had to keep thinking about what is the better way to handle this. I didn't want to ruin my ride by thinking negative thoughts.

I did think, "Forgive them; for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34), but I believe they knew exactly what they were doing. So, that one did not defuse my frustration or anger about it. I was still just so shocked that someone would be so mean. Then the thought came to me, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). Well, I could do that, pray for them...

But as I continue to ponder this incident, I realize that there are some mean people in the world. I don't have to judge them or even knock some sense into them. It is "required to forgive all men. And [I] ought to say in [my] heart-let God judge between me and thee, and reward thee according to thy deeds" (D&C 64:10-11). Easier said than done.

As the days have gone by, and my anger has defused, and I have had more time to ponder this incident I realized that, ultimately, I don't want to behave as they did. If I had caught them and clobbered them or even been rude to them, I would have behaved as they did. Rude and mean.  I don't want to be mean-whether on accident or on purpose. So, what I realized from being splattered with sandwich and smelling so lovely (sarcasm) of salad dressing, was that I really want to be able to truly be kind in all circumstances. It is so easily said, and not so easily applied. But, I do believe it is possible to "love your enemies" and "bless them that curse you" and "do good them them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you" (Matthew 5:44). It just takes a lot of practice. It really is good to be a practicing Christian, because if I weren't then that sandwich would have been a real waste.

"Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life" (3 Nephi 15:9).

I had the opportunity to ride The Cache Valley Century (that's 100 miles) on August 23, 2014. This has been, to date, the most difficult century I have had to endure. It wasn't because of the distance, or the hills. It was due to the weather. I was able to ride with my son, Stockton, this being his first century ride (and probably last), for most of it. The ride started out with gorgeous weather. The temperature was just right, the sun was out, and there was a cheerful feeling in the air. At the first rest stop Stockton dumped his jacket and his longer pants because it was warm and he didn't really need them. Shortly thereafter, Stockton and I split about mile 35, with him going ahead with my dad and brother who have a faster pace than I do. I continued on my own, enjoying the ride and the beautiful country.

Not long after, the weather took a sharp turn. There were dark clouds that gathered quickly and I had just the right amount of time to get on my rain gear. The rain poured down with some hail to make it even worse. The rain gear was obsolete, but it did break the wind. I was at 50 miles when it stopped raining. I was really in the debate about whether or not I wanted to finish. I was cold and pretty much soaked. I called Jeff, and he encouraged me after I told him I was alone and of the weather conditions. About 10 minutes later the weather dumped again. Rain and hail just pelting down. It was hard to see, and the wind was in my face forcing me to go at a very slow pace.

Shortly after, I found out that my brother-in-law was at mile 70. This gave me courage to continue pedaling. I had no idea where Stockton was, thinking that perhaps he had chosen to do the 60 mile ride. I knew my dad and brother had done the 60 miles and was informed they had completed their ride. With rain pouring down, I continued to pedal, keeping my eyes peeled for my brother-in-law. We passed each other, me asking him how far to the next rest stop. He yelled, "About another 10 miles"! I passed several people hiding under trees, and just stopped due to the raging wind, rain, and dime sized hail. At this point these thoughts went through my mind, "Why in the heck did I want to do this ride? Should I really keep going? What am I trying to prove?"

I kept going. The sun came out as I rounded a corner to enter the rest stop at 70 miles. Low and behold, there was Stockton!!! He was standing there in his shorts and t-shirt shivering. He had no gloves so his hands were pretty numb.  I asked if he wanted to call dad and have him come get us. "Nope, I'm going to keep going", he replied. I had been ready to quit and would have had Stockton not been there. We stayed there for about 45 minutes trying to warm up in the sun. When we took off, Stockton was in the lead. He pushed the pace to 19 mph. I tried to keep up and was able to only because it started to rain again after about 5 miles. Again, it dumped rain and hail. We just kept plugging away, encouraging each other just by the mere presences of being together.

As it was dumping rain, I watched Stockton ahead of me, and I am praying for it to stop raining on my son. He is such a good and righteous young man that I just wanted him to not have to endure this horrible weather or have such a bad experience for his first century ride. As I am praying for him the thought comes, "For it must needs be, that here is an opposition in all things" (2 Nephi 2:11), and then, "...He maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust" (Matthew 5:45). We all get to endure "bad weather". All of God's children are to be "tried in all things" (D&C 136:31), even the just and the unjust. We don't get to decide what we have to endure. Nope. What we get to decide is whether or not we will endure. The bad weather broke with about 8 miles left. We enjoyed each others company, and I was so grateful he was there to ride with me to the end.

As Stockton and I crested the last hill there was a street light we had to stop at. There across the street was my husband, Jeff, and our son, Ethan. I started to cry I was so relieved and happy to see them! We went around the block to finish and there was Jeff, our two other sons, my dad, my brother-in-law, and brother and his whole family cheering for us. It was so overwhelming to see these people that I love I couldn't hold back the sobs (literally) of joy and relief of seeing them. There was so much joy after having finished and enduring to the end! It hit me how important it is to "endure to the end" in all things.

Elder Richard J. Maynes said this about enduring: "As we temporarily endure the challenges we can solve and as we continue to endure the challenges we cannot solve, it is important to remember that the spiritual strength we develop will help us successfully endure all the challenges we face in life" (The Strength to Endure). After riding this century and enduring such harsh weather conditions I realize even more that there is purpose in difficult things. The joy of seeing loved ones at the end can't be described. That is what eternal life, for me, is all about- FAMILY!

Christ said, "Behold, I am the the law, and the light. Look unto me, and endure to the end, and ye shall live; for unto him that endureth to the end will I give eternal life" (3 Nephi 15:9). When I finished with Stockton by my side and my family members cheering us on, I had never been more alive. I was filled with joy. I testify that as we endure the "harsh weather" and other challenges that come our way, we will be filled with peace, joy, and receive spiritual strength to endure all things. "For with God nothing shall be impossible" (Luke 1:37).

Stockton before the ride. Note the jacket and pants that he ditched at the first rest stop

Stockton at the first rest stop. Notice the jacket and pants are now gone. Also note the clear, blue, sunny skies!

Ready to head out from the first rest stop.

The last 8 miles were without rain, but the roads were still wet. Those are my feet and Stockton in in front of me.

Taken by Jeff as we crossed at the light- this is when I started to cry from relief and joy of seeing him and Ethan. Notice Stockton now has my rain jacket on...he was very cold!

Stockton crossing the "finish line" made by my brother and brother-in-law. 

Me crossing the makeshift finish line. We were the last ones in...or crazy enough to keep going. Everything had been taken down and put away by the time we arrived.

The bruises on my arm from the hail.

The sky after the storm. It was beautiful country!

"...And [He] fed them with manna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did He do for them" (Mosiah 7:19)

All these fun adds about "Got...", "Got...", "Got...". Well, I've been thinking about getting and what it is I really want to get and have I "got it". In a conversation with a friend we were discussing the Israelites and manna. They were provided daily with manna and could not gather more than was sufficient for the days needs (see Exodus 16). Ironically enough, manna translates to: "What is it?" (Bible Dictionary: Manna). So I ask myself, what is it I really want? And am I willing to gather all I need to "get it"? Or am I always looking for more?

I then began to think about manna as a miracle, for that is really what it was. God provided food for the Israelites daily when they were wishing they were back in Egypt "[sitting] by the flesh pots, and when [they] did eat bread to the full" and complaining of their deliverance saying to Moses, "for ye have brought us forth into this wilderness, to kill this whole assembly with hunger" (Exodus 16:3). I know I would have complained if there was no food. If I am even a little hungry I get "hangry", that's angry and hungry at the same time. Not a good combination. As I write this I realize I don't want to be "hangry", I want to be grateful...I want to get thankful. "Got gratitude"?

God is so merciful in His reply to the complaints of the Israelites: "Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you; and the people shall go out and gather a certain rate every day, that I may prove them, whether they will walk in my law, or no" (Exodus 16:4). God does provide- and not just sometimes. He provides every single day! But sometimes I am just too busy looking for what I don't have that I don't see what is being given and provided daily. God's message to them was this: "At even ye shall eat flesh, and in the morning ye shall be filled with bread; and ye shall know that I am the Lord your God" (Exodus 16:12). They ate "manna" every day, bread from the Lord.

This leads me to asking what "manna" have I received from the Lord this day? Or "Got manna"? All too often I probably take what really is a miracle as coincidence, or luck, or it's just how things are. But in reality, these small day to day "coincidences" are miracles. One daily miracle in my life is to gather our family together for dinner. What an incredible gift to spend time with my loved ones, hearing about their day, their thoughts, and who they are. What a miracle to be able to get a drink of water from the tap, and add ice to the glass! I don't have to walk to the well to gather water every day. What a miracle that I can read and study the scriptures and the voice of the Lord's prophets with the touch of a button (scriptures found here; Teachings of the Prophets found here).

These may seem like no big deal, but when I start thinking about all the "small and simple things" (Alma 37:6) that make my life so easy and incredibly blessed, it is truly "bread from heaven" (John 6:31). I love what King  Limhi says about manna: "Therefore, lift up your heads, and rejoice, and put your trust in God, in that God who was the God of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; and also, that God who brought the children of Israel out of the land of Egypt, and caused that they should walk through the Red Sea on dry ground, and fed them with manna that they might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things did He do for them" (Mosiah 7:19). God provides manna for us every day that we "might not perish in the wilderness".

So I ask myself, "what is it" I really want to get? And you know what? I "Got Manna"! We all "Got Manna"! Let us open our eyes (see D&C 76:116-118), gather what is offered daily (see Exodus 16:4), because we are "fed...with manna that [we] might not perish in the wilderness; and many more things [does] He do for [us]" (Mosiah 7:19).