"Charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46)

Yesterday (Valentines Day no less), I polished off six sugar cookies and an Italian ice with custard. After feeling very gluttonous for eating so much junk food in a day I ponder what it is that really matters, because in my family growing up, weight mattered. With the pressure of looking a certain way and dealing with the baggage that comes with such pressure, I tell myself that what I look like doesn't really matter. Also, it doesn't matter if I write the most killer blog. It doesn't matter if I have tons of money or if I am brilliant (or not) beyond anyone else. None of this stuff matters, not even how much faith I have, if I don't have one thing that is all the difference.

The difference is charity. "...If ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46). "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profitteth me nothing" (1 Cor. 13:3; see also 1 Cor 13:1-2). There is no gain if I don't have charity. What exactly is charity- because I most definitely have no problem giving money to people in need. But that isn't what charity really is. "Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the most joyous to the soul" (Charity). Another way to put it: "Charity is having patience with someone who has let us down. It is resisting the impulse to become offended easily. It is accepting weaknesses and shortcomings. It is accepting people as they truly are. It is looking beyond physical appearances to attributes that will not dim through time. It is resisting the impulse to categorize others."(Charity Never Faileth).

I pray for this gift of charity, real love, that it may fill my heart. I always feel so good when I succeed in doing so. As I type, I realize that I must also have charity for myself. It is so easy to notice all my weaknesses and shortcomings, and thus do the same to others. When I offer charity, this pure love that lifts, encourages, and ennobles, I will succeed. If I offer anything else, it will fail (see Moroni 7:46). Money will fail. Food fails- it spoils, is eaten and gone. Fashion changes and will fail me. Memory fails. All things shall fail... but "charity never faileth" (Moroni 7:46). My hope is to focus on reaching out to others and loving others with this pure love. As Pres. Monson said, "May [charity] permeate your very souls and find expression in all your thoughts and actions".

Even though I may eat kind of cruddy every once in a while, I hope my focus will not be on the physical, nor the intellectual, nor the financial or anything else that can categorize and separate us. My hope is that I can focus on what matters most- even charity, which never fails.

"...lift up thy head and rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God..." (Alma 8:15)

The other day when I was a bit blue I decided to read my scriptures to see if that would help. I opened my scriptures to where our family had been reading and this is what I read: "Blessed art thou...therefore, lift up thy head and rejoice; for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God..." (Alma 8:15). All too often I get all concerned about being "perfect" and I focus on my mistakes rather than on my honest efforts of keeping the commandments. As we lift up our heads we get a very different view than when looking at our feet. Often times, the view is inspiring, guiding, and lifting. Unfortunately, I sometimes find it way too easy to just keep my head down. So, lift up your head- get a new view. Life may be difficult, but there is so much more than stones and pebbles to see.

Another thing I like about this scripture is "rejoice". Rejoicing means "to feel joy; be delighted" (The Free Dictionary). There is a wonderful Hymn that is about rejoicing. The chorus says: "Lift up your heart! Lift up your voice! Rejoice, again I say rejoice!" (Rejoice, the Lord is King!). When we lift up our heads and rejoice we are looking to God, for truly He is King.  As Paul taught the Philippians I add my voice and say: "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice" (Philippians 4:4). We have great reason to rejoice in the fact that we have a Savior who loves us, cares for us, and wants all that is best for our good. He shows us the way to live by giving us guidance and laws of how to follow Him. These are called commandments.

I love the fact that the scripture also said, "rejoice, for thou hast been faithful in keeping the commandments of God" (Alma 8:15). Keeping the commandments doesn't mean we need to be perfect right now. It means we show our love for God though our obedience. Christ said: "If ye love me, keep my commandments" ( John 14:15).  There is much to rejoice about when we keep the commandments. It brings freedom and peace. Elder L. Tom Perry taught: "A useful way to think about the commandments is they are loving counsel from a wise, all-knowing Heavenly Father. His goal is our eternal happiness, and His commandments are the road map he has given us to return to Him, which is the only way we will be eternally happy" (Obedience to Law is Liberty).

I will keep practicing obedience because I know that when I am obedient I find great reason to rejoice...even when I am a bit blue. This I testify.

“And I, God, saw everything that I had made, and, behold, all things which I had made were very good” (Moses 2:31).

As I walked today, it was really beautiful outside. The sun was out and the temperature, once I started walking, wasn't too cold. I was inside my head as I walked, not really paying attention to where I was headed as much as I was focused on just taking steps forward. It wasn't until I was more than halfway finished with my walk that I really noticed the beauty around me. What made me come out of my self focused walk was a clear call of a bird that sounded like the first notes of a melody. “The time of the singing of birds is come” (Song of Solomon 2:12). I stopped and looked around for the bird. I could barely spy it in the top branches of a tree, white like the aspen it was hiding in. Camouflaged. 

I then noticed the cracks in the cement sidewalk made by a large fir tree. The sidewalk yawning upwards, separating into two pieces like a large, wide mouth. I was impressed with the strength of the roots and wondered how deep they really went and if the roots could withstand a micro burst. Maybe the owner had watered it too much and the roots really didn't sink deep at all. Or maybe it had really deep roots and could withstand great gusts, remaining strong. “But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life” (Alma 32:41).

I noticed some crushed small fruit from trees that I had to navigate through carefully so as not to fill the bottom of my shoes with the pulp that had been smashed on the cement. I thought, “How gross, yet at some point I’m sure they gave great beauty”. So much is given, and we are asked to give our best. “Ye shall not offer unto the Lord that which is bruised, or crushed, or broken, or cut” (Leviticus 22:24). But sometimes, the crushed fruit is not of our doing, and we carefully walk around it, grateful we didn't step in it. 

Maybe life is like all these creations. I would miss them if I had continued to be in my own mind, thinking of things I can’t recall. Yet, they are so beautiful, powerful enough to change my thoughts and gladden my heart. All these beautiful creations. Made for us. “Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart; Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul” (D&C 59:18-19). 

Perhaps I will take more notice, I hope so, but sometimes, my efforts are so short lived. I will practice- practice noticing God’s creations and the blessings He gives through them, for they are good. “And I, God, saw everything that I had made, and, behold, all things which I had made were very good” (Moses 2:31). As I type this, the word “behold” stands out (see blog on “behold” here). I must practice beholding the creations of God. For they are good!

I’m grateful to be a practicing Christian.

"I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made” (Mosiah 7:18).

Okay, so this just really stinks having shoulder surgery twice. I mean, REALLY! I am sinking lower and lower, feeling like a trapped mouse, running around and around on a wheel and going nowhere, fast. It is rather hysterical in a way (is that hysterical as in funny, or crazy- not sure). I know this “mist of darkness” (see 1 Nephi 8:23) has an end, but the end can’t come soon enough. I just want to be able to use my arm and be pain free.

I am doing everything right to fight this darkness. I am reading my scriptures (hold to the rod), I am exercising, I am getting plenty of sleep, I am eating more healthy than I have the past few months, I am taking vitamins, I am keeping my covenants, I am even going to the temple. But, I am not healed- and the darkness continues. I know, I know. Just because I do all these things there is no guarantee that I will be miraculously healed or that the darkness will disperse. So, why do I keep having to struggle with this so much? I’m desperate for an answer.

And the answer is:

“O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies (this sling feels like an incredible enemy), notwithstanding our many stugglings (curse this lack of movement!), which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made” (Mosiah 7:18).

Effectual (producing a desired result or effect). Struggle (to move with difficulty or with great effort). If I am going to have to continue to struggle, which I already know the answer to this because I have already gone through a shoulder surgery, I better strap on some dang good boots, buckle up, and “lift up [my] head, and rejoice, and put [my] trust in God” (Mosiah 7:19). Yup, rejoice in this struggle. Make it effective...increase in faith and this too “shall come to pass”.

Not the answer I wanted. But for now, for today, it will do. This struggle, this “effectual struggle” will be what it will be. And I trust that things will eventually clear up, and the light will shine, and my burden will be lifted...and I will get rid of this dang sling (the enemy). I will struggle through this. Effectively.

Pictures below are some of the "light" that has helped me through this "effectual struggle".

Darling, wonderful Isabelle, (my daughter by another mother)- a ray of much needed light! 

Isabelle with me after having our nails done...I miss hearing her and Lara laugh together. 

Sweet Lily, (baby James and Sabrina in the background)- curse the sling, but so grateful for their LIGHT!!!

My awesome sister- always ready to bring "light' to the "effectual struggle". So glad I have her in my life!!!

"Behold the Lamb of God" (John 1:36)

I caught a short glimpse of an art show on TV-  something about beholding the images of Christ. The one phrase that keeps going over and over in my mind is something like this: "To behold is a very sacred act". I'm not sure if that is exactly what the woman said, but it caught my attention. What does it mean to "behold'? The word "behold" is used over 1100 times in the scriptures. So, I had to look it up and know exactly what it meant...or at least try and understand why it would be considered "a sacred act".

The dictionary definition is: "to observe; look at; see", which is a verb. It is also as an interjection: "look; see". Some synonyms that gave me more of an in depth view of this word are: contemplate, discern, notice, perceive, witness. When I started to ponder these words, and what 'behold" truly means when used as a verb I realized that when it is used in the scriptures, in many instances, we are being invited to participate in a sacred act of seeing and viewing. Pondering this powerful word that I had so easily skipped over in my scripture study, I couldn't but help see things just a little differently. I was moved, touched, and the desire to change came as I read and pondered this new discovery. Here are just a few of the scriptures I looked up:

"Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world" (John 1:29; John 1:36).

"For behold, it is I that speak; behold, I am the light which shineth in darkness, and by my power I give these words unto thee" (D&C 11:11)

"For behold, this is my work and my glory- to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39)

"Behold the wounds which pierced my side, and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet" (D&C 6:37)

Words are powerful. When we ponder their meaning and then apply them to ourselves and our own lives they become more than mere words on a page. They become catalysts for change. They become images and reflections of who we are. I have come to discover for myself that "beholding is a sacred act". "Behold the Lamb of God" (John 1:36). This I testify.

Other media/image resources found here