"I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made” (Mosiah 7:18).

Okay, so this just really stinks having shoulder surgery twice. I mean, REALLY! I am sinking lower and lower, feeling like a trapped mouse, running around and around on a wheel and going nowhere, fast. It is rather hysterical in a way (is that hysterical as in funny, or crazy- not sure). I know this “mist of darkness” (see 1 Nephi 8:23) has an end, but the end can’t come soon enough. I just want to be able to use my arm and be pain free.

I am doing everything right to fight this darkness. I am reading my scriptures (hold to the rod), I am exercising, I am getting plenty of sleep, I am eating more healthy than I have the past few months, I am taking vitamins, I am keeping my covenants, I am even going to the temple. But, I am not healed- and the darkness continues. I know, I know. Just because I do all these things there is no guarantee that I will be miraculously healed or that the darkness will disperse. So, why do I keep having to struggle with this so much? I’m desperate for an answer.

And the answer is:

“O ye, my people, lift up your heads and be comforted; for behold, the time is at hand, or is not far distant, when we shall no longer be in subjection to our enemies (this sling feels like an incredible enemy), notwithstanding our many stugglings (curse this lack of movement!), which have been in vain; yet I trust there remaineth an effectual struggle to be made” (Mosiah 7:18).

Effectual (producing a desired result or effect). Struggle (to move with difficulty or with great effort). If I am going to have to continue to struggle, which I already know the answer to this because I have already gone through a shoulder surgery, I better strap on some dang good boots, buckle up, and “lift up [my] head, and rejoice, and put [my] trust in God” (Mosiah 7:19). Yup, rejoice in this struggle. Make it effective...increase in faith and this too “shall come to pass”.

Not the answer I wanted. But for now, for today, it will do. This struggle, this “effectual struggle” will be what it will be. And I trust that things will eventually clear up, and the light will shine, and my burden will be lifted...and I will get rid of this dang sling (the enemy). I will struggle through this. Effectively.

Pictures below are some of the "light" that has helped me through this "effectual struggle".

Darling, wonderful Isabelle, (my daughter by another mother)- a ray of much needed light! 

Isabelle with me after having our nails done...I miss hearing her and Lara laugh together. 

Sweet Lily, (baby James and Sabrina in the background)- curse the sling, but so grateful for their LIGHT!!!

My awesome sister- always ready to bring "light' to the "effectual struggle". So glad I have her in my life!!!