"And the large and spacious building...is the vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men" (1 Nephi 12:18)

With some of the changes that have taken place in my life I have had to change how I live and even think. I have been trying to focus on the fact that I am a human being, not a human doing. Christ prayed: "And now Father, I pray unto thee for them, and also for all those who shall believe on their words, that they may believe in me, that I may be in them as thou, Father, art in me, that we may be one" (3 Nephi 19:23 italics added). This insight about being rather than always doing has helped me see things with a new view. I hope I can share some insights from 1 Nephi 12:18 that have come from wanting to be, and not always needing to "do".

"And the large and spacious building...is the vain imaginations and the pride of the children of men. And a great and a terrible gulf divideth them; yea, even the word of the justice of the Eternal God, and the Messiah who is the Lamb of God, of whom the Holy Ghost beareth record, from the beginning of the world until this time, and from this time henceforth and forever" (1 Nephi 12:18).

I had to ask, what does "vain imaginations" mean? Vain means "excessively...concerned about one's appearance, qualities, achievements" I immediately thought of the obsession with weight in our society, or whether or not one looks good enough or the constant comparison of one's abilities or qualities. Vain also means "(3) ineffectual or unsuccessful; futile. (4) without real significance, value, or importance; baseless or worthless. (5) Archaic. senseless or foolish" (Vain). I thought of the many things that are of no real value -being angry with myself because I didn't do enough or disappointed that I can't do all I used to be able to do". These kinds of thought do not bring me closer to God. They are focused on doing enough. These thoughts are "foolish" because they are not "things as they really are" (Jacob 4:13).

And what about "imaginations"? It is "the faculty of...forming mental images or concepts of what is not actually present to the senses". It is also defined  "Archaically[as]: a plan, scheme, or plot" (Imaginations). How much time is spent focusing on things that are not really "present to the senses", even the truth about ourselves (see Jacob 4:13), that we are "children of God" (Romans 8:16; 17; 21)?

Putting "vain imaginations" together made me think that the "large and spacious building" is made up of senseless and foolish plans or lack thereof. I realize that I am filled with vain imaginations. I put way too much concern or focus on baseless and worthless plans, self defeating thoughts that are not real or present. And sometimes I spend way too much time in the large and spacious building of self loathing, self defeat, or way too much time in the building of fear. Other foolish plans can include the constant need to be doing and missing the many opportunities of "being", even being kind, being patient, being still.

As I give a little more notice to what is in this verse, the "great and terrible gulf" that divides the righteous from the people in the "great and spacious building" is "the word of the justice of [God]". Sometimes, I spend so much time focused on others or my own imperfections, wasting time on things that are not present, I start to "suppose that mercy can rob justice", which is not true. "Nay; not one whit"! (Alma 42:25). It is pride that keeps me from trusting God and His "plan of mercy" (Alma 42:15, 31). The goal is to "be still. and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10 italics added) because one cannot "do" still.

I love knowing that God is merciful and just (see Alma 42:15, 31). I don't need to spend anymore time in the "great and spacious building" worrying about the appearance of my body, whether it is too fat or sick or not perfect enough. I don't need to spend anymore time focusing on "vain imaginations", even senseless or foolish plans of whether or not someone will receive justice. Rather, the joy is that I get to focus and hold onto "the rod of iron, which ...[is] the word of God, which [leads] to...the tree of life; which...[is a] representation of the love of God" (1 Nephi 11:25). And for me, it means I get to be loving, be forgiving, be one with God (see John 17:18-21).