Fear is such a funny thing. It is a form of control, really, and manipulation. I think about how I react when I am afraid of something. I stop doing something, or I become angry, or I do something I wouldn't normally do. I don't want people to fear me, least of all my children. I want them to love me. And ultimately do things because they love me, and not because they fear me.
I am finding that many people do things because they are afraid of outcomes that they have no control over...fear of the unknown. And the not knowing is what makes people want to have all the more control. As a parent I am learning that the more control I try to have over our children, the less I actually have. But, if I set clear limits and then let our children govern themselves and they are allowed to make choices and have the freedom to experience the consequences that come with those choices, be they good or bad, then I don't have to worry about the outcome, I can let go of fear because my children have the freedom they want and most often they make good choices. It is amazing what comes with the opportunity to choose. I am thrilled when my children are able to make the choices that come with good consequences and therefore feel the freedom that comes with it. I am also saddened when they make bad choices and they have to suffer the consequences of those choices and the loss of freedom that comes with them. I am grateful that these choices at this time are rather small. They are learning how to make good choices, and that real agency isn't free.
The time is coming when the choices will be of greater consequence and influence. But I am learning that I have nothing to fear, I say learning because I forget so often to not be afraid. And I am teaching our children the same thing. I do believe that as I put God first, things always work out how they are suppose to...not necessarily how I think they will or should, but how He knows, and that is the best way. He says,"Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not." D&C 6:36 I know He doesn't mean, look to Him in just some thoughts, but in every thought.
Fear. Do I make my decisions out of fear or out of love? Christ says, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid" John 14:27. When we are choosing right we have nothing to fear. No matter what we are standing up for, whether it is for our children, our religion, modesty, virtue, Christ. We have nothing to fear...This I testify.
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