I love studying the scriptures. It is my coping mechanism along with exercise. I do these two things daily, except on Sunday, I don't exercise. This past week I was having a bit of a rough patch and these are just some of the insights that I have had. I am so grateful for the peace that I receive from studying the scriptures. I feel I have a conversation with God as I study. I frequently start out with a question and He answers. Not always in the way I expect, but I always receive answers, whether they are about parenting, doctrine, or personal issues, or anything else I may need help or want to learn about. The challenge is to apply what I have learned. Let me share what I have pondered over the past few days. It is about the Ten Commandments. While going over them, the first four are about helping me have a better relationship with God. (see Exodus 20:3-11). And the last six are about improving my relationships with people (see Exodus 20:12-17).
Okay, just a couple of questions to ask myself about my relationship with God. Do I have anything in my life that would take my focus away from Him? In all I do my focus must include Him. This includes driving, parenting, volunteering, grocery shopping, creating art, the way I dress, how I speak, doing laundry…yes laundry. The reason I include laundry is because it is invaluable time for me to ponder. A lot of my activities are time to ponder and think. When I include Him in my pondering and the time I have to just think then I am increasing my relationship with Him. I am amazed at what I am taught and what I learn when I focus my thoughts rather than just let random things flit in and out of my mind. The billboard is a most powerful example of what will fill up my mind and take over if I don’t take charge of what I put into my mind. Having no other gods before Him includes how I spend my “mind time”. That was a real mind bender when I learned this one. Therefore, I include what I am thinking about with commandment number one: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3).
In thinking about commandment number two "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image or any likeness of any thing..." (Exodus 20:4) this quote by President Kimball is very thought provoking:
o “Idolatry is among the most serious of sins....Modern idols or false gods can take such forms as clothes, homes, businesses, machines, automobiles, pleasure boats, and numerous other material deflectors from the path to godhood….
o “Intangible things make just as ready gods. Degrees and letters and titles can become idols….
o “Many people build and furnish a home and buy the automobile first— and then they ‘cannot afford’ to pay tithing. Whom do they worship? Certainly not the Lord of heaven and earth….
o “Many worship the hunt, the fishing trip, the vacation, the weekend picnics and outings. Others have as their idols the games of sport, baseball, football, the bullfight, or golf….
o “Still another image men worship is that of power and prestige…. These gods of power, wealth, and influence are most demanding and are quite as real as the golden calves of the children of Israel in the wilderness” (The Miracle of Forgiveness [1969], 40–42).
When I read this quote I asked myself if there are things in my life that needed to be changed…perhaps this could cover how I spend my time. What am I pursuing? I think I will leave Pres. Kimball’s quote to itself and let you ponder commandment number two: “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image…” (Exodus 20:4.) I have my own judgements in my own life about what needs to change. The one thing that I always ask myself though is if I have so much time to go to the mall or a movie (my escape) but not enough time to go to the temple, perhaps I need to reevaluate how I spend my time...and now I ask myself, "Do I have idols that need to be eliminated?" I am not saying don't go to the movies, but if I spend all my extra time at the movies, or watching TV or at the mall, or reading other books and not have enough time to read my scriptures, then I definitely have my priorities mixed up. It's a tough one to hear when I need to change my habits.
I think the first two commandments are very closely related. The first one to me is about what I am spending my time thinking about, and the second one is how I am actually spending my time. The two cross over. My thoughts lead to my actions. I must become aware of what I am thinking and how I am spending my time. I can make excuses for how I spend my time…that I deserve to spend it how I want, do it how I want because I have earned it. But as a mother, I am learning that I really never, actually, get time off. There isn’t “time-off” as a mother. My mind is with my children and how I can help them learn the gospel better, and how I can teach them to love each other better, and how to do their homework better so they can eventually do well in college and be better parents themselves. In reality, parents don’t ever really get “time-off”. But I definitely make it easier on myself by including God in my parenting. I like the first two commandments. To me they are about focus and what direction I should be looking, thinking, and heading- and that is towards God.
Commandment Three, “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord God in vain” (Exodus 20:7) took on new meaning a few months back when I wasn’t as nice as I could have been when I closed a bank account. I left and felt badly that I hadn’t been more patient with the teller. It dawned on me that if I had been a more prominent person/figure in the Church then I would have had the obligation or pressure to behave better. Then hit me like a ton of bricks. I do have the obligation to behave better. I took upon me the name of Jesus Christ when I was baptized and I renew that covenant when I partake of the sacrament each week. Therefore, when I am a jerk and I am unkind, I am taking His name in vain. I am misrepresenting Him and His Church. Whoa, that is heavy. I think we are supposed to live a higher standard than we are living. Now, I am not saying it is easy. I struggle each day with various things, such as forgiveness. I wish I could just say the words, “I forgive” and poof, all the bad feelings were gone in an instant. But to be totally honest, they aren’t. I pray to forgive and to change. I know that over time, I can and will be healed from all pain, all sin, all wounds, because Jesus Christ has made it possible for me to be healed. But, perhaps there is something more for me to learn in the healing process than in just the instantaneous healing. Perhaps I can learn more about faith in Jesus Christ and in the atonement. I have also committed to continue to walk and talk and live as an example of a believer of Jesus Christ, to endure, not just receive miracles and be on my way.
I know that taking the Lord’s name in vain has always meant to my children to not say the “G” word or the “J” word. But it is more than that. To me it has become living up to the name we bare. The Primary Children’s song says: “I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know who I am. I know God’s plan. I’ll follow Him in faith. I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I’ll honor His name. I do what is right. I’ll follow His light. His truth I will proclaim.” (Primary Children's Songbook) This song teaches what it means to bear His name. If I really know who I am then I don't want to do anything to bring shame to His name. I will do my very best to follow His light, and "light is Spirit" (D&C 84:45.) I will do my best to follow the Spirit each day and live up to this name I honor. To me, that is keeping the third commandment: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord they God in vain”
“Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” I know I have a lot to learn from this commandment. So what does holy really mean? "Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hālig; akin to Old English hāl whole — more at WHOLE" (dictionary.) From this definition I can learn that I can make the Sabbath a “whole” day rather than just another day. It can be complete with family time, nap time, food time, and church time. It doesn’t need to be compartmentalized either. But all these things can be together, to make it a “holy day”. Not a day for work, but a day to focus, completely upon God. Holy also means "sacred." How can I make it a more sacred day? I think that is an individual call. Each of us is entitled to the inspiration and will know what is wise and right. I am still striving to make the Sabbath day a more holy day. I don’t want my children to hate the Sabbath but to love it. It is a holy or sacred day. I want our children to realize that it isn’t just another day to play their video games or get on the computer. I have no problem not going to the store...but have I done a good enough job in teaching our children that it is a holy day or do I even act and behave like it is a holy day? I am not sure. I will continue to work on this one because I know it improves my relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior, the forth commandment: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” (Exodus 20:8) I realize that I have more revelation to come on this as I prepare myself for it. I look forward to receiving it and following it. I think this is key to the sabbath day, personal revelation. I definitely need to be taking time to ponder and meditate and study the scriptures about the sabbath. I must put God first in my life.
The next six commandments are about my relationship with other people and how to get along with them better.
The fifth commandment is: “Honour thy father and thy mother” (Exodus 20:12). In this day and age it is important to show respect to our parents. But I think this can be applied to a broader relation than just parents. Respect to our elders is needed. Caring for and respecting those who are older than we are says a lot about our character. We can be a kinder and gentler nation. My friends children are really good at addressing me as Mrs. Slack. There is a lot of respect there in recognizing that I am their …what? Friends mom? I just realized that I don’t teach our children to address their elders with the same due respect. This is not good. The lack of respect in our society is disappearing. Not only for our elders, but for authority. I can begin to make a change by doing better to teach our children to address their elders by saying “Mr. or Mrs. Sonso” or “Brother or Sister Sonso”. Respect begins in the home. I can do better in teaching our children to respect their elders. I needed to learn this as well.
The sixth commandment is “thou shalt not kill” (Exodus 20:13.) I think about how this would really put a damper on a relationship. Yup, it would pretty much put a stop to it. I know there is of course the higher law. To love thy neighbor as thy self (D &C 59:6.) It takes work to love those who have treated you unkindly or unfairly. It is hard to forgive those who have abused you or cheated you. But, “The things which are impossible with men are possible with God” (Luke 18:27.)
The seventh commandment: “ Thou shalt not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14.) Can you imagine what our world would look like with people keeping true to their covenants and being loyal to their marriage vows? Let me take it a step further and be so bold as to say be abstinent before marriage! Holy cow, can you imagine what that would do to our relationships with children and families, let alone with us? There wouldn’t have to be this doubt or worry about unwanted pregnancy or diseases. Let alone the forgetting of self worth. For truly the most cherished thing, if I can call it a thing, a woman has is her virtue. Let us live a higher standard. Believe in ourselves and remember who we are…God’s children and teach our children who they are. And adultery, in any form, is wrong.
The eighth commandment: “Thou shalt not steal’ (Exodus 20:15). This to me is a form of honesty. It isn’t just about stealing items or things, but also about stealing ideas and cheating on tests and now days it is also about stealing identities. This is crazy what is happening. NO STEALING of any kind. Take credit where credit is due. Don’t take credit when it isn’t yours to take. It is in rare form when someone is given credit for something they haven’t done and they are honest about it and give credit where credit is due. Let’s be honest people! Integrity is worth more than we are giving it. I remember a few years back when I was at a convenience store purchasing a soda and I was asked it was a refill or not. I told the sales associate it was new and then asked if people actually told him that it was a refill when it wasn't. He said people did it all the time. I said that integrity was worth more than a quarter. He said, "Oh it isn't that big of a deal, it is just a quarter." I remember thinking that to me integrity was worth way more than a quarter. Integrity can't be purchased. No stealing...of any kind.
The ninth commandment: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor” (Exodus 20:16). This, to me, comes back to being truthful as well. How about stopping gossip when it starts. It is hard to stop it. If there is one thing that I am learning is that it is to just keep my mouth shut when it starts. Don’t add to it and don’t pass it along. If it isn’t true and if it isn’t kind, that is false witnessing. Even if it is true but it is unkind, perhaps we should think twice about speaking it….I have to work on the speaking before engaging mouth part. Being a false witness doesn’t just happen when someone is on the witness stand at a trial. It can happen when we are innocently talking and before we know it we have participated in an unwanted conversation. I hate it when that happens. Yuck. Try to stop it before it starts…keep your mouth shut. Then there are no regrets. It also goes along with integrity.
The tenth commandment: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house…nor anything that is thy neighbors” (Exodus 20:17) I am trying to teach our children that there is always going to be someone smarter, more clever, richer, faster, better, funnier, healthier or anything than they are and the best thing that they can do in life is to be happy for those people. If our children are always begrudging those people the good things in life then they will miss out on the blessings they themselves have. The opposite is true as well. There is always someone who is dumber, not as clever, poorer, slower, goofier, sicker, or anything worse than they are. I think this commandment is really about improving our relationships by being sincerely happy for those who are succeeding when we aren’t or who are doing better than we are. And then counting our own blessing. For we all have so much, we are all indebted to God, and we are all “unprofitable servants” (Mosiah 2:21.)
I know that if anyone chooses to keep the Ten Commandments as the Lord intended them to be kept they will improve their relationship with Him and with those around them. Heavenly Father lives and cares deeply about His children, that is us. Jesus Christ lives and loves us. His power is real. There is true power in keeping the commandments. His promise of This I testify.
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