Today after church I had a loved one point out a flaw in me that I definitely need to fix, that I am very aware of and have been for quite a while. I don't necessarily need or want to tell what that flaw is because I have way too many to start on that downward spiral of self destruction. But when this was pointed out I was bothered nonetheless, not because it isn't true, but perhaps because it is true and I know that I need to change and yet I seem to have trouble with it right now. As I have pondered over why I am so bothered by it two thoughts have come to me.
The first thing I thought of was: "the guilty take the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center." 1 Ne. 16:2 and I was definitely guilty of what I was being accused of and I was aware of my weakness. I know I need to repent of this sin, for it has to be called a sin when I am going against what Christ has taught. It isn't a grave sin, but it can and does keep me from feeling the Spirit when I dwell upon this particular "pile" that is keeping from "seeing". At what point am I going to either move the pile, put it all in the recycling bin or totally get rid of it, perhaps even burn this one and never look back? Gen. 19:17
The second thing I thought of was: I hate it when someone walks into my house and tells me how many "piles" I have and how messy it looks. Or in other words "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?" Matt. 7:3-4. How often have I walked into someones house or life and proceeded to tell them how many "piles" they have without first looking at my own "piles" and doing something about my own mess? I am so guilty of this it isn't even funny. So, I have to just let this little "pile" go, and work on my own piles for now. I can't get mad at this loved one for saying something about my "piles" when I have plenty of my own to work on to point out their piles. I have many piles, but the beauty is that I have a House Cleaner...
The "House Cleaner" being Jesus Christ, who, gratefully, shows me where to start and which "pile" I need to begin with first. He helps me to "see" through the unnecessary papers of junk and the things that are of value and real importance. There are, at times, so many things that clamor for my attention, but if I am quiet, and listen, and take the time I need to, then I can work on my own piles, one at a time and my own house becomes organized and clean. One thing I have learned is that house work never ends...I don't need anyone else telling where to start. I am working on my mess every day...it's called repentance. I am SO grateful for it! Without it my "house" would be such a mess (understatement!) But I have the greatest House Cleaner ever!
Yes, I freely admit I am not the worlds greatest organizer and I have messes that need to be cleaned up daily. But I am, oh so glad and thankful I don't have to clean then up alone, I just have to "open the door" Rev. 3:20. This I testify.
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| Pile before...this one comes at me weekly. It probably wouldn't get so big if I worked on it every day (hint hint) |
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| Pile after...It's such a great feeling to have this one cleaned up :) |
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